The Waffle Party is the highest level of performance reward available to employees of Macrodata Refinement. It’s awarded to the employee named Refiner of the Quarter by the Senior Refiner (or department head).

Contrary to the name, waffles don’t play an overly large role in the Waffle Party.

Waffle Parties are conducted after business hours. The lucky refiner makes their way to the Perpetuity Wing and then to the Kier Eagan Replica Home. Once inside, the refiner is greeted with a table setting that includes a serving of three Belgian waffles (replete with flawless pat of butter), a carafe of syrup, and a goblet of water. The refiner then enjoys their waffles. They’re expected to clean their plate, because after eating the last of the waffles a message on the plate is revealed:

GO NOW TO THE FOUNDER’S BED

Waiting on the founder’s bed, which is normally off-limits, is a Kier Eagan mask and a special Cat o’ Nine Tails. The refiner dons the mask and climbs onto the bed.

What follows is a highly sexually-charged interpretive dance performance by the four tempers, each wearing a mask representing their respective temper. In order of appearance, they are Frolic, Woe, Dread, and Malice.

The performers thrust their hips strut their stuff. What follows, however, is anyone’s guess—we just don’t know what happens next because our hero had more important things to do.