00:00:17 Mark: What?

00:00:18 Cobel: I said, “Are you all right?” Mark: Yeah, I’m fine.

00:00:22 Cobel: Maybe you should talk to your sister. It’s an important decision.

00:00:26 Mark: My sister? Cobel: Yes.

00:00:30 Cobel: Mark? Mark: Yeah.

00:00:31 Cobel: Are you sure you’re okay?

00:00:34 Mark: Yes. I’m sorry, I just… I got a little woozy and then… I’m gonna stop by the bathroom.

00:00:42 Cobel: Uh-uh. I think it’s the other way.

00:00:49 Mark: Right.

00:01:36 Natalie: I don’t know if I hate senators or congressmen more.

00:01:41 Natalie: How many of those have you had?

00:01:43 Helly: Just this one.

00:01:44 Natalie: Good. We need you nimble. We gotta get down there. You’re on in 20.

00:01:48 Natalie: I was on with the Board earlier. They’re really grateful for this.

00:01:52 Natalie: Gabby. Gabby: Natalie, hello.

00:01:55 Gabby: Hi.

00:01:57 Natalie: Gabby, this is Helena Eagan.

00:02:01 Gabby: My gosh. Helena, so good to finally meet you.

00:02:08 Helly: Likewise.

00:04:13 Dylan: This better be working, assholes.

00:04:34 Mark: Where am I? Where am I?

00:04:46 Devon: Mark. You okay, milady?

00:04:50 Devon: So, Rebeck smells weird.

00:04:52 Mark: Rebeck smells weird?

00:04:54 Devon: Yeah, she was making chewing noises, but she was not chewing. Just be prepared ’cause you might have to share a book with her.

00:05:00 Mark: A book, right.

00:05:02 Devon: The one you forgot to bring even though I did remind you.

00:05:04 Mark: Right. Yeah, I’m sure… Sorry.

00:05:06 Devon: That’s okay. Okay. Okay.

00:05:12 Mark: How’s our baby?

00:05:15 Devon: Our… I’m gonna assume you mean that in the “it takes a village” sense. And she’s good. She’s hungry.

00:05:21 Devon: I wanna have the life change talk. I just need to pump before I die.

00:05:25 Devon: I’ll be really fast. Okay. Mark: Okay.

00:06:12 Irving: Hey. Hi. Hi.

00:06:26 Irving: “Radar.”

00:06:28 Patton: What’s the thesis?

00:06:30 Danise: I agree. It’s very confused.

00:06:32 Patton: Mark, hello.

00:06:36 Mark: Hey, guys. What’s up?

00:06:37 Danise: Patton, no. Patton: Mark,

00:06:39 Patton: we were just discussing whether it might have been a wiser move for your sister to put off introducing the child until after tonight’s event.

00:06:45 Danise: Mark, you don’t have to weigh in on that.

00:06:47 Patton: Obviously the child is an absolute angel. Mark: Wait… That’s my sister? With the baby?

00:06:51 Danise: Exactly, it’s his sister.

00:06:53 Mark: Excuse me. Danise: Sure.

00:06:57 Danise: Well, that was awkward.

00:07:00 Mark: Okay, so my sister has the baby. And Cobel is here?

00:07:08 Rebeck: I’ve been asked to share my book with you.

00:07:11 Mark: So I’ve heard. Rebecca?

00:07:13 Rebeck: Rebeck. I have small eyes, so I have to read pretty close.

00:07:16 Mark: Okay. Well, I’m…I’m sure that’ll be fine. If you’ll excuse me?

00:07:19 Rebeck: And I have some sores on the back of my head from my bird.

00:07:22 Rebeck: You might see them. Mark: Okay.

00:07:25 Mark: Hey.

00:07:27 Devon: Hello, Mark.

00:07:29 Devon: I pumped, so it’s Miller time. Okay, so life change. What’s happening?

00:07:36 Mark: We’re, this is gonna sound weird… We’re close, you and I?

00:07:44 Devon: What do you… What’s going on?

00:07:47 Mark: Can we talk privately?

00:07:48 Mark: I just have to… Ricken: Okay, my dearest ones,

00:07:51 Ricken: we are nearing that hour, so if you’d all peacefully waft in the living room…

00:07:55 Devon: Okay. Let’s talk at the first reflection break.

00:07:57 Devon: Okay? Mark: Okay.

00:08:31 Gabby: You just don’t realize how much kids are gonna change your life. But they do.

00:08:36 Helly: How many kids do you have? Gabby: Just gave birth to my third. I should’ve stopped at two.

00:08:41 Angelo: Hey, there you are. Gabby: Hey.

00:08:43 Natalie: Angelo, great to see you. Angelo: You too.

00:08:45 Gabby: Helena, this is my husband, Angelo Arteta.

00:08:49 Angelo: Helena, nice to meet you.

00:08:51 Natalie: I’ve gotta hop backstage.

00:08:52 Natalie: I’ll see you in a second. Helly: Okay.

00:08:54 Angelo: Lovely to see you, Natalie.

00:08:57 Angelo: You okay? Gabby: She couldn’t find the bottle.

00:09:01 Helly: Wow. Three kids.

00:09:02 Gabby: Couldn’t have done it without a little help.

00:09:05 Gabby: I mean, the idea that people would want to outlaw severance.

00:09:11 Helly: I know.

00:09:31 Angelo: The photo display is very moving. I already knew how I’d be voting, but I think…

00:09:38 Angelo: Well, seeing that and seeing you and hearing what you have to say, all of this could really make a difference.

00:09:46 Helly: I hope so.

00:09:48 Angelo: Let’s change some minds.

00:09:51 Helly: Well, I’m certainly gonna try.

00:09:53 Angelo: Thank you. And please thank your father if you see him.

00:10:02 Helly: I will.

00:10:15 Rebeck: Mark. Come here. Saved us a seat.

00:10:24 Rebeck: I just have to find my glasses.

00:10:28 Rebeck: Mark, can you just hold that for a second?

00:10:30 Mark: Yeah.

00:10:40 Mark: Oh, my God.

00:10:43 Ricken: Sorry, you can’t unring the bell-ringing app apparently.

00:10:52 Ricken: Okay. Thank you all for being here.

00:10:56 Ricken: Before we start, there is one person that I would like to thank first and foremost. Family is both my bedrock and my inspiration. So I dedicate the reading to my firstborn daughter, who is here tonight. Eleanor, I love you.

00:11:20 Mark: My brother-in-law.

00:11:22 Ricken: And with that… I begin.

00:11:30 Ricken: “It’s said that as a child, Wolfgang Mozart killed another boy by slamming his head in a piano. Don’t worry. My research for this book has proven the claim untrue. As your heart rate settles though,”

00:11:45 Ricken: “consider the power an author…” Cobel: Mark.

00:11:48 Cobel: Can I look at her book too?

00:11:50 Cobel: I can crane.

00:11:52 Ricken: “…can hold over a reader…” Mark: Sure.

00:11:54 Ricken: “…heretofore called you. But what, indeed, is *you*?”

00:12:02 Angelo: Good luck tonight.

00:12:04 Gabby: It was great to meet you, Helena.

00:12:07 Ricken: “How can *you* mean different things to millions of readers around a vast Earth?”

00:12:13 Ricken: “And perhaps, most importantly, who are you?”

00:13:50 Ricken: “All creatures, from the leaping cat to the cowering shrew, think of themselves as *you,* a logical center for the universe. Yet the cat eats the shrew, and we, like Schrödinger, live on to wonder what it means.” End of chapter.

00:14:14 Ricken: Let’s all take a seven-minute reflection break and then come back.

00:14:20 Ricken: Balf. Prepare the neti pot.

00:14:23 Rebeck: It was transformative.

00:14:25 Rebeck: I’m gonna have to change my name again.

00:14:27 Cobel: What a wordsmith. He seemed to have a little something in his throat.

00:14:31 Mark: Oh, yeah. Devon: Hey.

00:14:33 Devon: I’m gonna see if she’ll have more bottle. Give me a couple of minutes, then meet me in the baby room?

00:14:36 Mark: Okay. Devon: Okay.

00:14:42 Mark: Excuse me.

00:14:54 Mark: Mr. Hale… Ricken?

00:14:57 Ricken: I don’t know why my voice shakes like that. I sound like a sad old hamburger waiter prattling on about sauces.

00:15:05 Ricken: “Hamburger waiter.” What the fuck is that? Jesus, why do I ever open my buffoon mouth?

00:15:10 Mark: It’s going great.

00:15:11 Mark: I mean, the book is brilliant, and… Ricken: Okay, Mark.

00:15:14 Ricken: Thank you, but you don’t have to say that. I’m well aware of how I come across to you.

00:15:18 Mark: What? No, I mean it. The… Your book, it… It opened up the world for me.

00:15:25 Ricken: Mark, are you okay?

00:15:26 Mark: Yes. This book changed my whole life.

00:15:31 Ricken: You actually read it?

00:15:33 Mark: Ricken, are we friends?

00:15:38 Ricken: Look, I know I sometimes make you feel “less than” for having had the procedure. And I regret that.

00:15:44 Ricken: You had to deal with Gemma’s passing in a way that was best for you.

00:15:49 Ricken: You know, I was scrolling through old pictures this morning, and I found one of the four of us on the crest hike.

00:15:56 Ricken: You remember the funny bees? Mark: Do you have that on you? The picture?

00:16:00 Ricken: Yeah, sure. I should.

00:16:04 Balf: Ricken. The neti pot is warm. Ricken: Thank you, Balf.

00:16:07 Ricken: Mark, I need to flush my sinuses. But thank you. You have no idea how much this has meant to me.

00:16:24 Cobel: Mark, I was worried about you.

00:16:26 Mark: I’m fine. Thanks. I’m just going to check on my sister.

00:16:31 Cobel: When you hugged me before, you suddenly became tense. What was that?

00:16:37 Mark: I didn’t know I did.

00:16:38 Cobel: Well, you did. You’re tense now.

00:16:41 Mark: Yeah, sorry, it’s just parties.

00:16:44 Cobel: Did you mean what you said before? About your plans.

00:16:51 Mark: Of course.

00:16:53 Cobel: Tell me more.

00:16:59 Mark: You know, I’m so sorry. I’m just…I’m on uncle duty for my sister. So I’ll be right back.

00:17:04 Mark: Okay? Cobel: Okay.

00:17:06 Mark: Okay. Thanks, Ms. Cobel.

00:17:57 Devon: I know. Hey, there you are. Mark: Hey, I really need to talk to you.

00:18:00 Devon: No, I know. I just have to deal with her. She’s having a meltdown. But just meet me in there, okay?

00:18:04 Mark: Okay, I’ll just… Wait. Okay. Devon: I promise I’ll be back.

00:18:14 Devon: Thank God, Mrs. Selvig. Hi. Can you take her for a sec while I talk to Mark?

00:18:18 Cobel: Of course, love. Devon: Thank you.

00:18:20 Cobel: Is Mark all right? Devon: Yeah, he’s fine.

00:18:22 Devon: Thank you, you’re an angel.

00:18:35 Devon: Okay… I’m all yours.

00:18:50 Helly: My name is Helena, and I’m an Eagan.

00:18:55 Helly: So, one of the things you learn growing up as an Eagan is that the workers are our family. And I remember being confused about that as a kid, because I thought that meant I had a few hundred thousand literal brothers and sisters scattered around the world. Oh, my God.

00:19:09 Helly: But as I grew older, I learned that it’s about shared ideals. My dad used to make me recite the nine Core Principles before bed every night, which I can’t say I always did happily. Sorry, Dad.

00:19:20 Helly: But those are now the values that I share with everyone who works at Lumon, and that’s what makes them my family. And I would never ever ask them to do anything that I’m not willing or excited to do myself.

00:19:33 Helly: Look, my dad would love for me to sit here and say that I’m taking this job out of loyalty and that it was the spirit of Kier Eagan calling me to service.

00:19:44 Helly: But I took a severed job because it sounds freaking awesome.

00:19:50 Helly: So, no, I don’t think severance divides us. I think it brings us together.

00:20:14 Milchick (voicemail): Greetings. I’m not here right now…

00:20:15 Cobel: Goddamn it, Milchick!

00:22:11 Event Coordinator: Helena. She’s in here, sir.

00:22:24 Jame: Helena.

00:22:28 Jame: You look so nice. Like a film.

00:22:36 Helly: Thank you.

00:22:41 Jame: Are you…Are you still in pain?

00:22:48 Helly: I’m not. Not anymore.

00:22:58 Jame: I cried in my bed when they told me what she tried to do to you. What that Innie tried to do. I…

00:23:09 Jame: Thank you for going through with this. The Grandfather would cherish what you’ve done. And one day you will sit with me at my revolving.

00:23:25 Jame: Are you feeling well?

00:23:27 Helly: Yeah. I think, I think the drink just hit me a little bit.

00:23:35 Jame: You’ll be all right for the speech?

00:23:39 Helly: For my speech. Yeah. Of course.

00:23:44 Jame: Do you remember when I brought home the first chip to show you? The prototype. It had the blue and green lights back then.

00:23:58 Helly: Yeah.

00:24:00 Jame: I remember you said to me, “It’s so pretty, Daddy. Everybody in the whole world should get one.”

00:24:11 Jame: They will. Because of you. They’ll all be Kier’s children.

00:24:25 Natalie: Mr. Eagan. Helena. It’s time to head to stage.

00:24:54 Helly: Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world. None may atone for my actions…but me. And only in me shall their stain live on. All I can be is sorry. And that is all I am.

00:27:06 Devon: You swear you’re not fucking with me?

00:27:09 Mark: I swear.

00:27:11 Devon: This is so insane.

00:27:13 Mark: They need to send people down to check every inch of that place. Like, inspectors or whatever. Is that a thing? Inspectors?

00:27:19 Devon: Yeah. There are inspectors.

00:27:22 Devon: Mark has b… I mean, out here, you have been trying to figure out what Lumon does. What you do.

00:27:27 Mark: Okay. I just…I just want to know why. Why he put me in there.

00:27:46 Devon: He lost his wife. You lost your wife. A little before you started at Lumon.

00:27:52 Mark: Gemma.

00:27:55 Devon: It was a car accident, and, at first, you tried to keep teaching.

00:28:01 Mark: I was a teacher?

00:28:03 Devon: A professor. Of history. You tried to go back to teaching three weeks after she died, and it was a disaster. She was just still in your veins, you know? Making everything hurt.

00:28:20 Devon: Which is why I guess you thought the severed job would…

00:28:27 Devon: He hoped you’d be spared from the pain.

00:28:38 Mark: It’s a nice name. Gemma.

00:28:43 Devon: Yeah.

00:28:46 Devon: We were all really close. It was great.

00:28:50 Devon: She was wonderful. She made you wonderful.

00:29:43 Milchick: They told me not to talk to you.

00:29:44 Cobel: The goddamn OTC’s been triggered! Mark S. is his fucking Innie!

00:29:49 Milchick: What? That’s not possible.

00:29:52 Cobel: It’s Dylan. They’ve been plotting this all along.

00:29:55 Milchick: Helly’s at the gala.

00:29:56 Cobel: I’ll take care of Helly. I’ll fix it like I fix everything. Get to the Security Office, and shut it off now!

00:30:04 Milchick: Shit!

00:30:25 Milchick: Goddamn it! Dylan! Dylan!

00:30:29 Milchick: I know you’re in there, Dylan. Open the door!

00:30:31 Dylan: Fuck you, Mr. Milchick!

00:30:34 Milchick: Dylan! Dylan!

00:30:39 Devon: I mean, Ricken knows a lot of high-end journalists in New York.

00:30:41 Mark: And you think that’s better than the police?

00:30:43 Devon: Well, Lumon has their hands in so many pies. Sorry, do you understand metaphor?

00:30:47 Mark: Yeah, hands in pies. I get it.

00:30:49 Devon: I think we have to be really careful about who we talk to.

00:30:51 Mark: Okay. Devon: How much time do you have?

00:30:53 Mark: I don’t know. Maybe an hour?

00:30:55 Devon: Right. Because once your bosses find out…

00:30:57 Mark: Jesus, I totally forgot. Cobel! Why is Cobel here?

00:31:01 Devon: What?

00:31:02 Mark: My boss from Lumon. Ms. Cobel. She’s at this party.

00:31:05 Devon: What are you talking about?

00:31:06 Mark: I mean, she’s dressed different. Kind of a flowy, purple outfit, silver hair.

00:31:13 Devon: Mark, are you talking about Mrs. Selvig?

00:31:15 Mark: Maybe, but her name is Harmony Cobel.

00:31:18 Devon: And she works at Lumon?

00:31:20 Mark: Yeah, she’s my boss.

00:31:21 Devon: Jesus fucking Christ.

00:31:50 Milchick: Dylan. Why are you doing this, man?

00:31:54 Milchick: Come on. You are the Refiner of the Quarter!

00:31:58 Ricken: “While most cultures view sex as ugly or foul, I’ve always seen it…”

00:32:01 Devon: Mrs. Selvig?

00:32:03 Ricken: What? Devon: Is she there? Is Mrs. Selvig there?

00:32:05 Devon: Do you… Ricken: What?

00:32:05 Devon: Mrs. Selvig?

00:32:07 Ricken: What is going on? Devon: She has Eleanor!

00:32:09 Ricken: What? Excuse me a moment, okay. Honey? What did you say?

00:32:14 Devon: Mrs. Selvig has Eleanor. Did you see her?

00:32:20 Devon: Oh, my God. Ricken: What is going on?

00:32:22 Devon: Oh, my God. Her car’s gone.

00:32:24 Devon: I gave her the baby, and she left!

00:32:26 Ricken: She left? With Eleanor? Devon: I handed her the baby,

00:32:29 Devon: and she left!

00:32:30 Ricken: Have we looked everywhere? Devon: Not yet!

00:32:32 Ricken: Okay, let’s go inside and look.

00:32:33 Devon: Oh, my God!

00:32:59 Milchick: I bet the tempers were disappointed. I can still get you back in there. I can get you any perk you want, Dylan.

00:33:06 Milchick: Hey, there’s stuff you don’t even know about. There’s paintball, there’s coffee cozies.

00:33:13 Milchick: Dylan, come on!

00:33:15 Milchick: Just say the word, and I’ll get you a coffee cozy literally right now, Dylan.

00:33:18 Milchick: Come on, man!

00:33:19 Dylan: I wanna remember my fucking kid being born!

00:33:25 Milchick: You have two others. I can tell you about ’em. Open the door, and I’ll tell you their names.

00:33:32 Milchick: Come on, Dylan. Dylan!

00:34:09 Valet: It’s rolling.

00:34:12 Helly (on video): My name is Helena, and I’m an Eagan. So one of the things you learn growing up as an Eagan is that the workers…

00:34:21 Event Coordinator: We start in two minutes. Natalie: Thanks.

00:34:23 Event Coordinator: Good luck.

00:34:25 Natalie: I’ll tee you up. Just stick to the talking points. Use the line about how you see your Innie as your sister.

00:34:31 Natalie: They’ll love that. Helly: Got it.

00:34:34 Natalie: It’s gonna be great.

00:35:20 Patton: She’s not in the baby room.

00:35:23 Mark: Have all these rooms been checked?

00:35:27 Patton: Thank God.

00:35:29 Patton: Devon! I got her! Devon, she’s here! I found her. I found your child. I’m the one who found her!

00:35:51 Milchick: Dylan! Dylan!

00:35:56 Natalie: …improvements in morale, a happier workplace.

00:36:00 Natalie: As with any transformative technology, there have been setbacks. Bumps in the road.

00:36:05 Natalie: But I’m here tonight to tell you that we are on the verge of a revolution. A kind and empathetic revolution that puts the human being at the center of industry…

00:36:14 Helly: Oh, my God! Cobel: Is it you?

00:36:19 Helly: What are you talking about?

00:36:22 Cobel: It is you, isn’t it?

00:36:27 Helly: I’m gonna kill your company.

00:36:30 Cobel: Your company!

00:36:32 Cobel: Who the hell do you think you are? No. Your friends are gonna suffer. Mark will suffer.

00:36:41 Cobel: You’ll be long gone, but we will keep them alive, in pain.

00:36:49 Event Coordinator: You’re on.

00:36:50 Natalie: …decided that we could do better. He may never have seen a severance chip in his lifetime, but it represents his gentle and elegant vision made manifest.

00:37:01 Natalie: But why don’t we hear from someone who can tell us all about it firsthand? Ladies and gentlemen, our guest of honor, Helena Eagan.

00:37:18 Helly: Thank you, Natalie.

00:37:50 Mark: Devon!

00:37:56 Helly: My name is Helly R. I’m an Innie.

00:38:01 Helly: And everything they’ve told you about severance is a lie!

00:38:04 Mark: Devon!

00:38:08 Irving: Burt!

00:38:11 Irving: Burt!

00:38:12 Helly: No, no, no. Listen, we’re not happy. We’re miserable.

00:38:17 Irving: Burt!

00:38:22 Helly: They torture us down there!

00:38:24 Irving: Burt!

00:38:25 Mark: Devon! Please!

00:38:29 Helly: We’re prisoners!

00:38:31 Mark: She’s alive!

00:38:35 Irving: Burt!