00:00:02 HELLY: I acknowledge that, henceforth, my access to my memories will be spatially dictated. I will be unable to access outside recollections whilst on Lumon's severed basement floor, nor retain work memories upon my ascent. I am aware that this alteration is comprehensive and irreversible. I make these statements freely.

00:00:30 MILCHICK: Okay, that's a wrap. Come with me, please.

00:00:44 MILCHICK: So your work personage will be waking in a few hours on the severed floor. But the next time you yourself will be sentient will be this evening, in the elevator back up.

00:00:53 HELLY: Okay.

00:00:54 MILCHICK: The elevator has a handrail at hip-level if you feel dizzy.

00:00:58 MILCHICK: Oh, man. I love seeing the sunrise on his face.

00:01:06 MILCHICK: You know he used to drink three raw eggs in milk each morning?

00:01:09 HELLY: I've heard.

00:01:10 MILCHICK: His favorite breakfast.

00:01:12 MILCHICK: We'll get you prepped in here.

00:01:15 MILCHICK: Good morning, Lawrence. Lawrence: Good morning.

00:01:43 HELLY: They say it doesn't hurt.

00:01:50 MILCHICK: Just relax.

00:02:07 MILCHICK: Little vibration now.

00:02:47 MILCHICK: I'll be upstairs after to let you know how it went.

00:02:51 HELLY: Sorry if I freak out on you a little.

00:02:55 MILCHICK: Don't worry. I'm very excited to meet you.

00:03:40 MILCHICK: Hey, Helly.

00:03:42 HELLY: Woah, what's happening?

00:03:44 MILCHICK: Great to see you.

00:03:46 MILCHICK: Your orientation's been so much fun.

00:03:51 HELLY: Uh, where am I?

00:03:52 MILCHICK: Okay, so sometimes when a new hire is adjusting to a severed space, we help by bringing them here to the stairwell, to experience the transition viscerally.

00:04:01 HELLY: Oh, no. I'm trying to leave?

00:04:03 MILCHICK: No, no. It's all part of the process. If you wanna spin around and head back in, that should be that.

00:04:13 MILCHICK: Hey, there.

00:04:17 HELLY: What the hell? MILCHICK: That's okay. Not a problem. Wanna give it another shot? Maybe with a little oomph?

00:04:31 MILCHICK: Hi. I'm at the stairwell. It's going fair. No, she's…

00:04:39 HELLY: Fuck!

00:04:41 MILCHICK: I'ma call you back.

00:04:45 MILCHICK: Wow. You're an inquisitive one.

00:04:51 HELLY: I don't wanna be in there, do I?

00:04:52 MILCHICK: You're learning that you do. Hey, when we heard you were coming here, it was like a miracle. It's amazing what you're doing.

00:05:24 MILCHICK: Hey, old-timer! One day down.

00:08:42 HELLY: Hey.

00:08:44 MARK: Hey.

00:08:45 HELLY: So it's tomorrow now?

00:08:47 MARK: Uh, yeah. Well, it's Monday.

00:08:51 HELLY: A weekend just happened? MARK: Yeah.

00:08:53 HELLY: I don't even feel like I left.

00:08:54 MARK: Yeah, that's how nights and weekends feel here.

00:08:58 HELLY: Like nothing?

00:08:59 MARK: Well, you get used to it. I mean, I find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep since we don't actually get to experience it. You may feel rejuvenated or happy. Less tense in the shoulders. Spry.

00:09:14 HELLY: So it's 09:05?

00:09:16 MARK: Yeah, they stagger the entries too so we don't meet on the outside. It's important apparently.

00:09:23 HELLY: So I guess we're not friends.

00:09:26 MARK: Guess not.

00:09:32 DYLAN: My current file's called “Tumwater”… which I started some 11 weeks back. “Tumwater.” All one word.

00:09:37 HELLY: Should I be taking notes?

00:09:39 MARK: No. DYLAN: I've got it 96% sorted, which means I've earned four of the five tier incentives, including the erasers and the finger traps that you see displayed here. 100% is tier five. That gets you a caricature portrait. You'll note I've accrued an embarrassment of wealth in that regard.

00:09:57 HELLY: Wow. DYLAN: Correct.

00:09:58 DYLAN: Each one of these? Finished file in the can.

00:10:01 HELLY: So that's the highest award?

00:10:03 DYLAN: Percentage-wise, yes. But if we hit our numbers by quarter's end, one of us gets named refiner of the quarter, and that shit gets you a waffle party.

00:10:11 HELLY: I'm sorry, a waffle party?

00:10:12 DYLAN: Okay, hazards on, eager lemur. I'm a dead lock for that this quarter, so don't get your hopes up.

00:10:20 HELLY: What about Mark's crystal head cube?

00:10:22 DYLAN: That's not a prize, that's just something they gave him.

00:10:25 MARK: Helly, could you flip on this console?

00:10:44 MARK: Okay.

00:10:48 MARK: That's… Excuse me.

00:10:56 IRVING: Mark, sorry to interrupt. I know you're training Helly. I just noticed you've removed the group photos from the desks.

00:11:02 MARK: Yeah. We're gonna take the new ones at Helly's party today.

00:11:07 IRVING: Hmm.

00:11:08 MARK: Okay, this is the Siena file. Now, all the data you see falls into one of four essential categories. And we group each line of code, and then sort it evenly between five digital buckets.

00:11:24 HELLY: Party.

00:11:25 MARK: Just poke around first. Use the arrows.

00:11:27 IRVING: I do think the old photos are supposed to stay on the desk until the new ones come in.

00:11:39 MARK: Right.

00:11:41 HELLY: Should this mean something to me? MARK: No.

00:11:43 MARK: No, all the data comes from upstairs fully encoded.

00:11:47 HELLY: Then how do I categorize it?

00:11:51 HELLY: What?

00:11:53 MARK: Each category of numbers presents in such an order as to elicit an emotional response in the refiner. So, Cat 1 numbers, for example, feel a certain way on sight. They'll be sort of disconcerting, scary.

00:12:10 HELLY: Scary?

00:12:11 MARK: I know.

00:12:13 HELLY: My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet and look for numbers that are scary?

00:12:16 DYLAN: It sounds dumb, and Mark said it dumb.

00:12:19 HELLY: Are the numbers bloody? Do they chant?

00:12:22 MARK: It doesn't make sense till you see it, and it takes a while to see.

00:12:24 IRVING: Hey, Mark. I just printed out the passage of the handbook on changing out group photos. Just might be good to peruse when you're between things.

134 00:12:32 - Thank you. - Sorry.

135 00:12:37 Am I trapped here?

136 00:12:41 In what way?

137 00:12:42 Like if it turns out I hate this and I want to quit, is that an option?

138 00:12:50 Look.

139 00:12:52 If you're really unhappy,

140 00:12:53 you can submit a resignation request with your outside self for review.

141 00:12:58 And good luck getting that approved.

142 00:13:00 Well, they do tend to be rejected. Plus, you know…

143 00:13:05 What?

144 00:13:07 Well, since this perceptual version of you only exists at Lumon,

145 00:13:13 I mean, quitting would effectively end your life.

146 00:13:15 I mean, in so much as you've come to know it.

147 00:13:19 Hello, Refiners.

148 00:13:21 Sweet. Melon bar.

149 00:13:23 Hi, Mr. Milchick.

150 00:13:24 Helly, welcome.

151 00:13:27 I'm agog at how well I can tell you're already fitting in.

152 00:13:31 The office feels whole.

153 00:13:34 Now, let's get this party started.

154 00:13:44 Well, my name is Irving, as you all know.

155 00:13:47 And I've worked here for three years,

156 00:13:50 and something about me is that I know all nine core Lumon principles.

157 00:13:55 Awesome. What's your favorite?

158 00:14:00 All nine.

159 00:14:02 But today, I think I'd say, “cheer”.

160 00:14:06 Great.

161 00:14:12 No trust fall today, Irv.

162 00:14:16 Right.

163 00:14:26 No. No.

164 00:14:35 Hello, I'm Helly.

165 00:14:37 I've been at Lumon for, like…

166 00:14:40 ten hours total, and…

167 00:14:44 I'm sorry, I don't know anything about myself.

168 00:14:47 Sure you do, Helly.

169 00:14:50 I really don't.

170 00:14:52 I guess I went home last night,

171 00:14:53 but I don't know if home is a house, or an apartment,

172 00:14:56 or if I live with a family…

173 00:14:57 I like to think my outie lives on, like, a riverboat.

174 00:15:02 I'm sorry, outies are…

175 00:15:03 They're us on the outside.

176 00:15:06 You saw yours yesterday in the video.

177 00:15:08 Right. I actually have a few things to say to her. Can I record something back?

178 00:15:14 So what you'll find here is that communication between selves

179 00:15:17 is pretty curtailed.

180 00:15:18 So what if I write her a note?

181 00:15:20 Fortunately, the elevators are equipped with something called “code detectors.”

182 00:15:25 So messages can't be passed through.

183 00:15:27 Yeah… They're like metal detectors for written symbols.

184 00:15:30 A Lumon original, apparently.

185 00:15:31 That's right. Right.

186 00:15:33 Sure. Okay, well what if I…

187 00:15:34 I don't think you're quite getting the game here, Helly.

188 00:15:38 May I?

189 00:15:42 Guys, this is Helly.

190 00:15:44 She's 30 years old, she's allergic to almonds and has weak enamel.

191 00:15:48 At 5'6'', she's the fourth tallest person in your office,

192 00:15:51 and her hair is what we call shoulder-length.

193 00:15:56 And seeing her here with you all, I'd say she most definitely has a family.

194 00:16:06 Wow. Well, that's a lot to follow.

195 00:16:09 So I'll just say that I'm Mark.

196 00:16:12 Been with Lumon about two years, and I absolutely love this game.

197 00:16:20 Nice try, pal, but you said that last time.

198 00:16:24 Fair enough.

199 00:16:30 Well, I…

200 00:16:36 I broke protocol this morning.

201 00:16:43 I was dusting the old group photos, the ones with Petey,

202 00:16:47 and it just…

203 00:16:49 made me feel sad.

204 00:16:53 And, I guess,

205 00:16:56 worried that I won't be able to run MDR like he did.

206 00:17:00 That tracks. I have similar worries.

207 00:17:03 So I…

208 00:17:05 took 'em from the cubicles and put 'em in the storage closet,

209 00:17:08 which we're not supposed to do.

210 00:17:13 I recall this. I objected.

211 00:17:19 Thank you for telling me, Mark.

212 00:17:22 I actually find your reaction sweet.

213 00:17:25 Though, it is puzzling you have an outburst like this for Petey,

214 00:17:29 and not for, say, Carol D.

215 00:17:33 But we knew Carol D. was leaving beforehand.

216 00:17:36 I mean, her outie filmed a thank-you.

217 00:17:39 Petey was just gone.

218 00:17:43 And I mean, I… I don't know

219 00:17:45 if he's at some new job or drunk on a beach, or dead…

220 00:17:51 That's enough, please.

221 00:18:02 I think this is a good time to remind ourselves

222 00:18:05 that things like deaths happen outside of here.

223 00:18:09 Not here.

224 00:18:12 A life at Lumon is protected from such things.

225 00:18:16 And I think a great potential response to that from all of you is gratitude.

226 00:18:30 I also think that melon isn't getting any tastier.

227 00:19:08 Hey, sorry I derailed your game.

228 00:19:11 I thought I already had, but then, yeah, you made it way worse.

229 00:19:18 So how are you gonna figure out if Petey's okay?

230 00:19:20 I think Milchick was pretty clear.

231 00:19:24 You're just done asking about your best friend

232 00:19:26 because our babysitter told you to stop?

233 00:19:30 You know, Milchick's a nice man.

234 00:19:32 When he says something, it's best to listen.

235 00:19:35 - I don't care. - 'Cause he can't always be nice like that.

236 00:19:38 Okay, Refiners!

237 00:19:40 Let's get this new group photo before the melon bloat sets in.

238 00:19:55 At last.

239 00:19:59 All right. Great big smiles. Remember, you're gonna be looking at this every day.

240 00:20:06 Say “gratitude.”

241 00:20:08 Gratitude!

242 00:20:12 Say “cheer.”

243 00:20:14 Cheer!

244 00:20:20 Helly? What are you doing?

245 00:20:22 I just think I'm not gonna work here anymore. Sorry.

246 00:20:26 What do you mean?

247 00:20:27 I quit.

248 00:20:29 I don't wanna do the file-sorting thing

249 00:20:30 or the never-seeing-the-sun-thing or the disappearing-friends thing.

250 00:20:33 - I just don't want any of it. - We told you there's code detectors.

251 00:20:35 Do you know that? Have you tried? Because frankly, it sounds made-up.

252 00:20:47 Helly!

253 00:20:52 Helly!

254 00:21:04 Please, you don't know…

255 00:21:09 Oh, God. Come on.

256 00:21:20 Shit. Mr. Graner?

257 00:21:26 Come on out.

258 00:21:33 What have we got here?

259 00:21:38 Perhaps you'd better come with me.

260 00:21:39 Mr. Graner.

261 00:21:43 Hey. I see you've found my wayward trainee.

262 00:21:48 Appreciate your help, sir, as always.

263 00:21:53 The note.

264 00:21:55 So, this is embarrassing, but it's my first time training,

265 00:21:59 and I must've just forgotten to go over data-smuggling rules with Helly.

266 00:22:05 Sorry. This is Helly.

267 00:22:06 Helly, Mr. Graner.

268 00:22:08 Yeah.

269 00:22:12 Yeah, so if Helly tripped the code detectors,

270 00:22:14 that one, it's on me and I apologize for that, sir.

271 00:22:19 Earnestly.

272 00:22:22 Big department chief now, Mark S.?

273 00:22:24 Well…

274 00:22:27 On you, then. Let's go.

275 00:23:46 Mark.

276 00:23:51 So you're a doula?

277 00:23:53 A midwife, actually.

278 00:23:57 And how many deliveries have you, I don't know, seen?

279 00:24:05 Over 300?

280 00:24:07 This is mostly back in Montana.

281 00:24:09 - Wow. That's so cool. - Yeah.

282 00:24:11 That's such a high amount.

283 00:24:14 Yeah. We get two a day.

284 00:24:18 Depending.

285 00:24:30 So, is that, like, ten a week?

286 00:24:32 Like, in a five-day work week, or…

287 00:24:34 - Yeah, or so. - Yeah. Okay.

288 00:24:37 - Are you vetting me for your sister? - No. Oh, no. You seem great.

289 00:24:41 - Yeah, I'm kidding. - I know.

290 00:24:52 Thank you.

291 00:24:53 So, Lumon?

292 00:24:57 - Yeah. - Like half this town.

293 00:24:59 And half of me. That was a joke.

294 00:25:02 It was funny.

295 00:25:04 Yeah. I'm in the archives division, sort of a corporate historian, apparently.

296 00:25:10 So a lot of sensitive material, hence the…

297 00:25:16 So you don't know…

298 00:25:19 who you work with, or what you do, or… or anything?

299 00:25:23 Yeah, that's the idea.

300 00:25:25 - What if you snuck in a note? - You can't sneak notes.

301 00:25:27 So…

302 00:25:30 - you could have a girlfriend at Lumon… - Thank you.

303 00:25:31 …and not know it.

304 00:25:33 And if you met someone out here, you wouldn't know it in there.

305 00:25:36 Like, you could get married and have kids,

306 00:25:38 and just forget they exist for eight hours every day,

307 00:25:40 for your whole life.

308 00:25:42 That doesn't mess with your head?

309 00:25:47 I think for some people, it's the point.

310 00:25:55 So, as a local, this just feels like a reasonable temperature to you?

311 00:25:59 Well, technically, I'm from Ganz.

312 00:26:01 And you're one to talk.

313 00:26:04 Isn't Minnesota, like, crazy cold with the lakes?

314 00:26:08 Yes. Minnesota was very cold

315 00:26:10 the one time I visited from my home in Montana.

316 00:26:15 So those are different places.

317 00:26:20 So do you live in Lumon housing?

318 00:26:23 You make it sound like dorms or something.

319 00:26:26 - No, I just meant that there's… - I live in Baird Creek.

320 00:26:28 And, yes, they happen to be subsidized by the company that employs me.

321 00:26:33 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health?

322 00:26:35 And legalized severance in the workplace?

323 00:26:38 - Nice. The WMC's out and about. - Who?

324 00:26:41 Most severed workers don't see the sun their whole lives.

325 00:26:44 The Whole Mind Collective. They're great.

326 00:26:46 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health?

327 00:26:49 We're all good.

328 00:26:50 You folks have a moment for children's brain health?

329 00:26:52 - We do. - Great!

330 00:26:53 We're trying to get a measure on the ballot

331 00:26:55 to keep mega-corporations like Lumon from continuing to force

332 00:26:58 legalized severance on our state.

333 00:26:59 They're forcing it now?

334 00:27:00 That's what they're lobbying for. And Jame Eagan is trying to sever kids…

335 00:27:03 Okay, well, what about the self-mutilating types who do it willingly?

336 00:27:07 I mean, I heard that some of them are so deluded

337 00:27:09 they don't even know they're victims.

338 00:27:11 I also heard that if you're severed,

339 00:27:14 you go to two separate hells. Is that true?

340 00:27:17 Hey, man, you wanna benefit off forced labor, that's up…

341 00:27:19 - Hey, man. Forced labor? - …then that's up to you.

342 00:27:22 Fucking really?

343 00:27:23 - Hey! - Yeah.

344 00:27:24 - Forced labor? Okay. - Really.

345 00:27:26 So people can just, like, self-imprison?

346 00:27:28 Are you captive right now?

347 00:27:30 No, seriously, because your past self chose to walk you down here

348 00:27:34 to be an infantilizing prick to people.

349 00:27:36 Severance is subjugation, asshole.

350 00:27:40 That's nice language for a…

351 00:27:42 What… What are you? Twelve?

352 00:27:44 Are you 12 years old? Are you even in high school yet?

353 00:27:49 Okay. Come on.

354 00:28:21 Mrs. Selvig.

355 00:28:23 Peace offering.

356 00:28:25 Are we fighting?

357 00:28:26 I just keep thinking about those damn bins.

358 00:28:30 Well, that is so not necessary, but very kind. Thank you.

359 00:28:38 Here, why don't you come in? I have milk.

360 00:28:41 - Why, thank you! - Yeah.

361 00:28:46 I'm experimenting with chamomile, so no hard feelings if you gag.

362 00:28:49 I'm sure I won't.

363 00:28:54 Still waiting for that third bulb to revive itself?

364 00:28:58 Oh, yeah. Keep forgetting to change that.

365 00:29:01 My, you smell nice. Were you on a date?

366 00:29:05 Sort of. My sister set me up with, like, her doula, or midwife.

367 00:29:12 Didn't really feel like anything.

368 00:29:19 Well, let's see here. I'll…

369 00:29:32 Wow.

370 00:29:33 This i… These are magic.

371 00:29:39 My late husband was a carpenter,

372 00:29:41 and before he passed,

373 00:29:42 he said he would start building us a house in the hereafter.

374 00:29:48 And there would be a small guest apartment in the back,

375 00:29:52 in case I found a new man before I got there.

376 00:29:58 That's… so sweet.

377 00:30:02 Yes. He even drew blueprints, which I keep in my purse.

378 00:30:13 Well, come by the shop, okay?

379 00:30:14 I'll give you a mugwort bath bomb that'll make you sleep like a rag doll.

380 00:30:19 I'll try to get down there.

381 00:30:21 Good night, Mrs. Selvig.

382 00:31:19 The nerve, my new partner's a woman.

383 00:31:22 I just think you could've mentioned it sooner.

384 00:31:24 You'd better be on the stakeout and not… out for a steak.

385 00:32:28 Seth Milchick, Lumon Industries.

386 00:32:30 Mr. Milchick, it's Mark Scout.

387 00:32:33 I'm a severed worker. Employee number 4502.

388 00:32:36 Mr. Scout, what a pleasure. How can I help you?

389 00:32:39 I actually woke up not feeling terribly well.

390 00:32:41 I'm sorry I'm just now calling.

391 00:32:44 Oh, no. May I ask how serious it is?

392 00:32:47 Well, nothing bad, just very minor stomach event.

393 00:32:52 Should be back tomorrow.

394 00:32:54 Well, I'm sorry.

395 00:32:55 I know your innie will be sad to have missed the day.

396 00:33:00 You feel better. Okay, Mr. Scout?

397 00:33:07 - Where's Mark? - Missed you too.

398 00:33:10 He should be coming down first now. You don't think that…

399 00:33:13 He's probably sick. They wouldn't bounce him and Petey the same week.

400 00:33:16 I certainly hope not.

401 00:33:17 Quarterly deadline's coming up,

402 00:33:18 and I'm not looking to be department chief.

403 00:33:21 Wow. Lot a confidence for a man who once got disciplined for dozing.

404 00:33:27 Sorry. That was…

405 00:33:32 I can't help that I was hired older than you.

406 00:33:37 It just never stops, huh?

407 00:33:39 Endless toil.

408 00:33:42 Where's Mark?

409 00:33:43 Sick or fired. Probably sick.

410 00:33:46 They wouldn't have fired him for my note thing, would they?

411 00:33:48 No. No way. He did his stint in the break room yesterday.

412 00:33:55 He said he was ill.

413 00:33:56 Did he sound ill?

414 00:33:58 I don't know. He said it was abdominal.

415 00:34:02 Funny timing.

416 00:34:44 The erasers are mostly decorative, since we don't have pencils.

417 00:34:48 Finger trap is fun, as long as you know how to use it safely.

418 00:34:50 But it's really more about what they represent, how far you got in the file.

419 00:34:54 - But why don't we always finish the files? - 'Cause they only keep so long.

420 00:34:57 You know, we finish, on average, one in five files before they expire.

421 00:35:01 Which is better than it used to be before Mark's freshman fluke.

422 00:35:05 What's a freshman fluke?

423 00:36:05 No!

424 00:36:07 Irv?

425 00:36:11 I'm… I'm sorry.

426 00:36:13 Irving?

427 00:37:17 We'll deduct the time you spent dozing from your outie's paycheck.

428 00:37:20 What will be harder to fix, Irving, is my and Ms. Cobel's trust in you.

429 00:37:25 I'm so sorry, sir. I'm just so sorry.

430 00:37:28 Well, no one is hankering to throw you in the break room.

431 00:37:31 We'll do a wellness check with Ms. Casey and go from there, all right?

432 00:37:35 Thank you, Mr. Milchick.

433 00:37:59 Nothing scary yet.

434 00:38:09 Oh, God! A four!

435 00:38:11 Don't fuck around.

436 00:38:13 I told you, you'll understand when you see it, so just be patient.

437 00:38:16 What even are these numbers?

438 00:38:18 Like, do we even know what we're supposedly cleaning?

439 00:38:23 My theory?

440 00:38:25 The sea.

441 00:38:29 The sea?

442 00:38:30 Yeah. Think about it.

443 00:38:32 Okay, if our outies are up there severing their brains,

444 00:38:35 shit must have gotten pretty bad.

445 00:38:37 Famine, plagues, et cetera.

446 00:38:40 So what is a desperate humanity to do?

447 00:38:46 Populate the sea?

448 00:38:47 Populate the sea.

449 00:38:48 But first, they gotta send probes down to the sea to clean up

450 00:38:52 all the deadly eels and shit, 'cause we can't cohabitate with that.

451 00:38:56 So we send the probes down, they send us the data coded,

452 00:38:59 we sense what's eels, and then we tell the probes what to blow up.

453 00:39:08 This is the leading theory?

454 00:39:11 Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting swear words out of movies.

455 00:39:18 But what is it? Like, what… what are we actually workin' on down there?

456 00:39:24 I don't know.

457 00:39:26 I thought without severance it would make more sense, but…

458 00:39:31 They separate us from the other departments.

459 00:39:33 We don't even know how many there are.

460 00:39:40 But I've been reintegrated for two weeks now.

461 00:39:45 I've been mapping out the floor.

462 00:39:58 I hid the original for you when I left.

463 00:40:20 You okay?

464 00:40:30 Sorry.

465 00:40:32 Reintegration sickness.

466 00:40:36 Never heard of that one.

467 00:40:38 Because I'm the first dipshit that's ever had it.

468 00:40:42 Plus, living in a cold-ass greenhouse doesn't help, but I can't go home.

469 00:40:49 Okay, so what is it that happens down there that's so bad?

470 00:40:57 There's this room…

471 00:41:05 We go in there when we don't act right.

472 00:41:15 What is that?

473 00:41:23 I'm afraid you're not sorry.

474 00:41:26 Please. I truly am. I'm sorry.

475 00:41:30 Please read the statement again.

476 00:41:33 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.

477 00:41:38 None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on.

478 00:41:44 I am thankful to have been caught,

479 00:41:46 my fall cut short by those with wizened hands.

480 00:41:51 All I can be is sorry, and that is all that I am.

481 00:41:56 I'm afraid you don't mean it. Again, please.

482 00:42:02 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.

483 00:42:08 None may atone for my actions but me.

484 00:42:15 The fuck is that?

485 00:42:19 That's the break room.

486 00:42:53 I'm… I'm sorry.

487 00:42:54 No, I'm sorry, sir.

488 00:42:56 I didn't think anybody was out here.

489 00:42:58 I'm coming out from my session.

490 00:43:01 I was just going in. I was admiring the art while I wait.

491 00:43:07 That piece hung in the perpetuity wing for many years.

492 00:43:11 I know. And it broke my heart when they took it down.

493 00:43:14 It's better here. It's calming.

494 00:43:20 I'm Irving. Macrodata Refinement.

495 00:43:23 Are you a department head?

496 00:43:25 Well, Optics and Design.

497 00:43:27 A two-person department, so, barely.

498 00:43:30 So this is your work?

499 00:43:32 We don't paint them. We do hang them.

500 00:43:35 I loved that you did the Ambrose cycle in the team-building space last quarter.

501 00:43:41 I'd never seen it.

502 00:43:43 Well, it's rare to meet a sophisticate.

503 00:43:46 Most people only think of O&D when new handbook totes come in.

504 00:43:51 Well, I love those too.

505 00:43:53 Yeah?

506 00:43:55 There's new ones coming next month.

507 00:43:58 Best design yet, in my view.

508 00:44:01 Wow! Well, that's all I'll be thinking about until then.

509 00:44:06 Irving?

510 00:44:45 All right, Irving.

511 00:44:47 What I'd like to do is share with you some facts about your outie.

512 00:44:52 Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing.

513 00:45:00 Just relax your body and be open to the facts.

514 00:45:05 Try to enjoy each equally.

515 00:45:09 These facts are not to be shared outside this room.

516 00:45:14 But for now, they're yours to enjoy.

517 00:45:23 Your outie is generous.

518 00:45:27 Your outie is fond of music and owns many records.

519 00:45:33 Your outie is a friend to children and to the elderly and the insane.

520 00:45:41 Your outie is strong and helped someone lift a heavy object.

521 00:45:47 Your outie attends many dances and is popular among the other attendees.

522 00:45:54 Your outie likes films and owns a machine that can play them.

523 00:46:03 Your outie is splendid and can swim gracefully and well.

524 00:46:10 I'm sorry.

525 00:46:12 Please try to enjoy each fact equally,

526 00:46:15 and not show preference for any over the others.

527 00:46:18 That's ten points off. You have 90 points remaining.

528 00:46:22 - Points? - Please don't speak.

529 00:46:32 Your outie won a game two weeks ago.

530 00:46:36 Your outie values water.

531 00:46:39 A photo of your outie with a trophy was once in a newspaper.

532 00:46:46 Your outie has no fear of muggers or knaves.

533 00:46:52 Your outie likes the sound of radar.

534 00:46:58 Your outie is skilled at kissing and lovemaking.

535 00:47:05 I'm sorry.

536 00:47:06 Please don't respond to any specific fact.

537 00:47:09 That's ten points off.

538 00:47:11 - I was just… - Please don't speak further,

539 00:47:14 or all remaining points will be deducted and the wellness session will end.

540 00:47:35 Okay.

541 00:47:57 - Is it just the elevators? - What?

542 00:47:59 With the code detectors. Or is it the stairwells too?

543 00:48:01 Jesus. Stairwells too. Why?

544 00:48:03 If no one accepts the resignations,

545 00:48:06 what makes you think they're being delivered at all?

546 00:48:07 You gotta let the info-smuggling notion go.

547 00:48:10 Okay, but how good are the scanners?

548 00:48:11 Like, what if you wrote the letters funky, like one of those robot tests?

549 00:48:14 - Hi, kids. What's for dinner? - Nope!

550 00:48:16 How was wellness?

551 00:48:18 Great. Very restorative.

552 00:48:20 I met the O&D department head.

553 00:48:22 Burt? I've met that guy. He's a fuck. You didn't tell him where we are, did you?

554 00:48:26 Burt's not a fuck. And no.

555 00:48:28 I'm asking for the safety of this department.

556 00:48:30 - I don't need to tell you… - That's a myth.

557 00:48:32 And don't pretend you care about this department.

558 00:48:34 You just want your waffle party.

559 00:48:35 Beg-fucking-pardon. We're supposed to like the perks.

560 00:48:38 “And all in Lumon's care shall revel in the bounty of the incentives spur.”

561 00:48:42 Don't pervert a handbook passage to me, okay?

562 00:48:45 - Don't do it. - Hey, guys?

563 00:48:47 Lumon has been good to us, and it is feckless to…

564 00:48:48 Guys!

565 00:48:58 That.

566 00:49:00 Yep.

567 00:49:02 Why is… Why is it…

568 00:49:03 You okay. Just fence off the bad data like I showed you.

569 00:49:06 Can you see the perimeter?

570 00:49:17 And bin it.

571 00:49:31 Boom. Fucking refined.

572 00:49:33 All right, Helly. Hip, hip.

573 00:49:36 They were scary. The numbers were scary.

574 00:49:56 Here's the couch. I'll find you a sleeping bag.

575 00:50:01 And you can use the shower if you want.

576 00:50:05 What are you trying to say?

577 00:50:11 Thanks for doing this, Mark.

578 00:50:13 Well, I, you know, figured my work self would be pissed

579 00:50:16 if I let you sleep in a greenhouse.

580 00:50:24 Light's on the left.

581 00:50:53 You okay in there?

582 00:50:54 Yeah! Yeah, I'm good.

583 00:52:09 Petey, are you okay?