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Half Loop (Transcript) | |
Episode Number | 1.2 |
---|---|
Written By | Dan Erickson |
Previous Transcript | Good News About Hell (Transcript) |
Next Transcript | In Perpetuity (Transcript) |
00:00:02 HELLY: I acknowledge that, henceforth, my access to my memories will be spatially dictated. I will be unable to access outside recollections whilst on Lumon's severed basement floor, nor retain work memories upon my ascent. I am aware that this alteration is comprehensive and irreversible. I make these statements freely.
00:00:30 MILCHICK: Okay, that's a wrap. Come with me, please.
11 00:00:44 So your work personage will be waking in a few hours on the severed floor.
12 00:00:48 But the next time you yourself will be sentient will be this evening,
13 00:00:51 in the elevator back up.
14 00:00:53 Okay.
15 00:00:54 The elevator has a handrail at hip-level if you feel dizzy.
16 00:00:58 Oh, man.
17 00:01:02 I love seeing the sunrise on his face.
18 00:01:06 You know he used to drink three raw eggs in milk each morning?
19 00:01:09 I've heard.
20 00:01:10 His favorite breakfast.
21 00:01:12 We'll get you prepped in here.
22 00:01:15 - Good morning, Lawrence. - Good morning.
23 00:01:43 They say it doesn't hurt.
24 00:01:50 Just relax.
25 00:02:07 Little vibration now.
26 00:02:47 I'll be upstairs after to let you know how it went.
27 00:02:51 Sorry if I freak out on you a little.
28 00:02:55 Don't worry. I'm very excited to meet you.
29 00:03:40 Hey, Helly.
30 00:03:42 What's happening?
31 00:03:44 Great to see you.
32 00:03:46 Your orientation's been so much fun.
33 00:03:51 Where am I?
34 00:03:52 Okay, so sometimes when a new hire is adjusting to a severed space,
35 00:03:57 we help by bringing them here to the stairwell,
36 00:03:59 to experience the transition viscerally.
37 00:04:01 Oh, no. I'm trying to leave?
38 00:04:03 No, no.
39 00:04:04 It's all part of the process.
40 00:04:06 If you wanna spin around and head back in, that should be that.
41 00:04:13 Hey, there.
42 00:04:17 - What the hell? - That's okay.
43 00:04:21 Not a problem.
44 00:04:22 Wanna give it another shot?
45 00:04:24 Maybe with a little oomph?
46 00:04:31 Hi.
47 00:04:32 I'm at the stairwell.
48 00:04:35 It's going fair.
49 00:04:38 No, she's…
50 00:04:39 Fuck!
51 00:04:41 I'ma call you back.
52 00:04:45 Wow.
53 00:04:49 You're an inquisitive one.
54 00:04:51 I don't wanna be in there, do I?
55 00:04:52 You're learning that you do.
56 00:04:54 Hey, when we heard you were coming here, it was like a miracle.
57 00:04:59 It's amazing what you're doing.
58 00:05:24 Hey, old-timer!
59 00:05:25 One day down.
60 00:08:42 Hey.
61 00:08:44 Hey.
62 00:08:45 So it's tomorrow now?
63 00:08:47 Yeah.
64 00:08:49 Well, it's Monday.
65 00:08:51 - A weekend just happened? - Yeah.
66 00:08:53 I don't even feel like I left.
67 00:08:54 Yeah, that's how nights and weekends feel here.
68 00:08:58 Like nothing?
69 00:08:59 Well, you get used to it.
70 00:09:00 I mean, I find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep
71 00:09:03 since we don't actually get to experience it.
72 00:09:05 You may feel rejuvenated or happy.
73 00:09:09 Less tense in the shoulders. Spry.
74 00:09:14 So it's 09:05?
75 00:09:16 Yeah, they stagger the entries too so we don't meet on the outside.
76 00:09:19 It's important apparently.
77 00:09:23 So I guess we're not friends.
78 00:09:26 Guess not.
79 00:09:32 My current file's called “Tumwater”…
80 00:09:34 which I started some 11 weeks back.
81 00:09:36 “Tumwater.” All one word.
82 00:09:37 Should I be taking notes?
83 00:09:39 - No. - I've got it 96% sorted,
84 00:09:41 which means I've earned four of the five tier incentives,
85 00:09:44 including the erasers and the finger traps that you see displayed here.
86 00:09:49 100% is tier five. That gets you a caricature portrait.
87 00:09:53 You'll note I've accrued an embarrassment of wealth in that regard.
88 00:09:57 - Wow. - Correct.
89 00:09:58 Each one of these? Finished file in the can.
90 00:10:01 So that's the highest award?
91 00:10:03 Percentage-wise, yes.
92 00:10:04 But if we hit our numbers by quarter's end,
93 00:10:06 one of us gets named refiner of the quarter,
94 00:10:08 and that shit gets you a waffle party.
95 00:10:11 I'm sorry, a waffle party?
96 00:10:12 Okay, hazards on, eager lemur.
97 00:10:14 I'm a dead lock for that this quarter, so don't get your hopes up.
98 00:10:20 What about Mark's crystal head cube?
99 00:10:22 That's not a prize, that's just something they gave him.
100 00:10:25 Helly, could you flip on this console?
101 00:10:44 Okay.
102 00:10:48 That's… Excuse me.
103 00:10:56 Mark, sorry to interrupt. I know you're training Helly.
104 00:10:59 I just noticed you've removed the group photos from the desks.
105 00:11:02 Yeah. We're gonna take the new ones at Helly's party today.
106 00:11:08 Okay, this is the Siena file.
107 00:11:11 Now, all the data you see
108 00:11:13 falls into one of four essential categories.
109 00:11:17 And we group each line of code,
110 00:11:19 and then sort it evenly between five digital buckets.
111 00:11:24 Party.
112 00:11:25 Just poke around first. Use the arrows.
113 00:11:27 I do think the old photos are supposed to stay on the desk
114 00:11:31 until the new ones come in.
115 00:11:39 Right.
116 00:11:41 - Should this mean something to me? - No.
117 00:11:43 No, all the data comes from upstairs fully encoded.
118 00:11:47 Then how do I categorize it?
119 00:11:51 What?
120 00:11:53 Each category of numbers presents in such an order as to elicit
121 00:11:58 an emotional response in the refiner.
122 00:12:02 So, Cat 1 numbers, for example, feel a certain way on sight.
123 00:12:07 They'll be sort of disconcerting, scary.
124 00:12:10 Scary?
125 00:12:11 I know.
126 00:12:13 My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet
127 00:12:15 and look for numbers that are scary?
128 00:12:16 It sounds dumb, and Mark said it dumb.
129 00:12:19 Are the numbers bloody? Do they chant?
130 00:12:22 It doesn't make sense till you see it, and it takes a while to see.
131 00:12:24 Hey, Mark. I just printed out
132 00:12:26 the passage of the handbook on changing out group photos.
133 00:12:29 Just might be good to peruse when you're between things.
134 00:12:32 - Thank you. - Sorry.
135 00:12:37 Am I trapped here?
136 00:12:41 In what way?
137 00:12:42 Like if it turns out I hate this and I want to quit, is that an option?
138 00:12:50 Look.
139 00:12:52 If you're really unhappy,
140 00:12:53 you can submit a resignation request with your outside self for review.
141 00:12:58 And good luck getting that approved.
142 00:13:00 Well, they do tend to be rejected. Plus, you know…
143 00:13:05 What?
144 00:13:07 Well, since this perceptual version of you only exists at Lumon,
145 00:13:13 I mean, quitting would effectively end your life.
146 00:13:15 I mean, in so much as you've come to know it.
147 00:13:19 Hello, Refiners.
148 00:13:21 Sweet. Melon bar.
149 00:13:23 Hi, Mr. Milchick.
150 00:13:24 Helly, welcome.
151 00:13:27 I'm agog at how well I can tell you're already fitting in.
152 00:13:31 The office feels whole.
153 00:13:34 Now, let's get this party started.
154 00:13:44 Well, my name is Irving, as you all know.
155 00:13:47 And I've worked here for three years,
156 00:13:50 and something about me is that I know all nine core Lumon principles.
157 00:13:55 Awesome. What's your favorite?
158 00:14:00 All nine.
159 00:14:02 But today, I think I'd say, “cheer”.
160 00:14:06 Great.
161 00:14:12 No trust fall today, Irv.
162 00:14:16 Right.
163 00:14:26 No. No.
164 00:14:35 Hello, I'm Helly.
165 00:14:37 I've been at Lumon for, like…
166 00:14:40 ten hours total, and…
167 00:14:44 I'm sorry, I don't know anything about myself.
168 00:14:47 Sure you do, Helly.
169 00:14:50 I really don't.
170 00:14:52 I guess I went home last night,
171 00:14:53 but I don't know if home is a house, or an apartment,
172 00:14:56 or if I live with a family…
173 00:14:57 I like to think my outie lives on, like, a riverboat.
174 00:15:02 I'm sorry, outies are…
175 00:15:03 They're us on the outside.
176 00:15:06 You saw yours yesterday in the video.
177 00:15:08 Right. I actually have a few things to say to her. Can I record something back?
178 00:15:14 So what you'll find here is that communication between selves
179 00:15:17 is pretty curtailed.
180 00:15:18 So what if I write her a note?
181 00:15:20 Fortunately, the elevators are equipped with something called “code detectors.”
182 00:15:25 So messages can't be passed through.
183 00:15:27 Yeah… They're like metal detectors for written symbols.
184 00:15:30 A Lumon original, apparently.
185 00:15:31 That's right. Right.
186 00:15:33 Sure. Okay, well what if I…
187 00:15:34 I don't think you're quite getting the game here, Helly.
188 00:15:38 May I?
189 00:15:42 Guys, this is Helly.
190 00:15:44 She's 30 years old, she's allergic to almonds and has weak enamel.
191 00:15:48 At 5'6'', she's the fourth tallest person in your office,
192 00:15:51 and her hair is what we call shoulder-length.
193 00:15:56 And seeing her here with you all, I'd say she most definitely has a family.
194 00:16:06 Wow. Well, that's a lot to follow.
195 00:16:09 So I'll just say that I'm Mark.
196 00:16:12 Been with Lumon about two years, and I absolutely love this game.
197 00:16:20 Nice try, pal, but you said that last time.
198 00:16:24 Fair enough.
199 00:16:30 Well, I…
200 00:16:36 I broke protocol this morning.
201 00:16:43 I was dusting the old group photos, the ones with Petey,
202 00:16:47 and it just…
203 00:16:49 made me feel sad.
204 00:16:53 And, I guess,
205 00:16:56 worried that I won't be able to run MDR like he did.
206 00:17:00 That tracks. I have similar worries.
207 00:17:03 So I…
208 00:17:05 took 'em from the cubicles and put 'em in the storage closet,
209 00:17:08 which we're not supposed to do.
210 00:17:13 I recall this. I objected.
211 00:17:19 Thank you for telling me, Mark.
212 00:17:22 I actually find your reaction sweet.
213 00:17:25 Though, it is puzzling you have an outburst like this for Petey,
214 00:17:29 and not for, say, Carol D.
215 00:17:33 But we knew Carol D. was leaving beforehand.
216 00:17:36 I mean, her outie filmed a thank-you.
217 00:17:39 Petey was just gone.
218 00:17:43 And I mean, I… I don't know
219 00:17:45 if he's at some new job or drunk on a beach, or dead…
220 00:17:51 That's enough, please.
221 00:18:02 I think this is a good time to remind ourselves
222 00:18:05 that things like deaths happen outside of here.
223 00:18:09 Not here.
224 00:18:12 A life at Lumon is protected from such things.
225 00:18:16 And I think a great potential response to that from all of you is gratitude.
226 00:18:30 I also think that melon isn't getting any tastier.
227 00:19:08 Hey, sorry I derailed your game.
228 00:19:11 I thought I already had, but then, yeah, you made it way worse.
229 00:19:18 So how are you gonna figure out if Petey's okay?
230 00:19:20 I think Milchick was pretty clear.
231 00:19:24 You're just done asking about your best friend
232 00:19:26 because our babysitter told you to stop?
233 00:19:30 You know, Milchick's a nice man.
234 00:19:32 When he says something, it's best to listen.
235 00:19:35 - I don't care. - 'Cause he can't always be nice like that.
236 00:19:38 Okay, Refiners!
237 00:19:40 Let's get this new group photo before the melon bloat sets in.
238 00:19:55 At last.
239 00:19:59 All right. Great big smiles. Remember, you're gonna be looking at this every day.
240 00:20:06 Say “gratitude.”
241 00:20:08 Gratitude!
242 00:20:12 Say “cheer.”
243 00:20:14 Cheer!
244 00:20:20 Helly? What are you doing?
245 00:20:22 I just think I'm not gonna work here anymore. Sorry.
246 00:20:26 What do you mean?
247 00:20:27 I quit.
248 00:20:29 I don't wanna do the file-sorting thing
249 00:20:30 or the never-seeing-the-sun-thing or the disappearing-friends thing.
250 00:20:33 - I just don't want any of it. - We told you there's code detectors.
251 00:20:35 Do you know that? Have you tried? Because frankly, it sounds made-up.
252 00:20:47 Helly!
253 00:20:52 Helly!
254 00:21:04 Please, you don't know…
255 00:21:09 Oh, God. Come on.
256 00:21:20 Shit. Mr. Graner?
257 00:21:26 Come on out.
258 00:21:33 What have we got here?
259 00:21:38 Perhaps you'd better come with me.
260 00:21:39 Mr. Graner.
261 00:21:43 Hey. I see you've found my wayward trainee.
262 00:21:48 Appreciate your help, sir, as always.
263 00:21:53 The note.
264 00:21:55 So, this is embarrassing, but it's my first time training,
265 00:21:59 and I must've just forgotten to go over data-smuggling rules with Helly.
266 00:22:05 Sorry. This is Helly.
267 00:22:06 Helly, Mr. Graner.
268 00:22:08 Yeah.
269 00:22:12 Yeah, so if Helly tripped the code detectors,
270 00:22:14 that one, it's on me and I apologize for that, sir.
271 00:22:19 Earnestly.
272 00:22:22 Big department chief now, Mark S.?
273 00:22:24 Well…
274 00:22:27 On you, then. Let's go.
275 00:23:46 Mark.
276 00:23:51 So you're a doula?
277 00:23:53 A midwife, actually.
278 00:23:57 And how many deliveries have you, I don't know, seen?
279 00:24:05 Over 300?
280 00:24:07 This is mostly back in Montana.
281 00:24:09 - Wow. That's so cool. - Yeah.
282 00:24:11 That's such a high amount.
283 00:24:14 Yeah. We get two a day.
284 00:24:18 Depending.
285 00:24:30 So, is that, like, ten a week?
286 00:24:32 Like, in a five-day work week, or…
287 00:24:34 - Yeah, or so. - Yeah. Okay.
288 00:24:37 - Are you vetting me for your sister? - No. Oh, no. You seem great.
289 00:24:41 - Yeah, I'm kidding. - I know.
290 00:24:52 Thank you.
291 00:24:53 So, Lumon?
292 00:24:57 - Yeah. - Like half this town.
293 00:24:59 And half of me. That was a joke.
294 00:25:02 It was funny.
295 00:25:04 Yeah. I'm in the archives division, sort of a corporate historian, apparently.
296 00:25:10 So a lot of sensitive material, hence the…
297 00:25:16 So you don't know…
298 00:25:19 who you work with, or what you do, or… or anything?
299 00:25:23 Yeah, that's the idea.
300 00:25:25 - What if you snuck in a note? - You can't sneak notes.
301 00:25:27 So…
302 00:25:30 - you could have a girlfriend at Lumon… - Thank you.
303 00:25:31 …and not know it.
304 00:25:33 And if you met someone out here, you wouldn't know it in there.
305 00:25:36 Like, you could get married and have kids,
306 00:25:38 and just forget they exist for eight hours every day,
307 00:25:40 for your whole life.
308 00:25:42 That doesn't mess with your head?
309 00:25:47 I think for some people, it's the point.
310 00:25:55 So, as a local, this just feels like a reasonable temperature to you?
311 00:25:59 Well, technically, I'm from Ganz.
312 00:26:01 And you're one to talk.
313 00:26:04 Isn't Minnesota, like, crazy cold with the lakes?
314 00:26:08 Yes. Minnesota was very cold
315 00:26:10 the one time I visited from my home in Montana.
316 00:26:15 So those are different places.
317 00:26:20 So do you live in Lumon housing?
318 00:26:23 You make it sound like dorms or something.
319 00:26:26 - No, I just meant that there's… - I live in Baird Creek.
320 00:26:28 And, yes, they happen to be subsidized by the company that employs me.
321 00:26:33 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health?
322 00:26:35 And legalized severance in the workplace?
323 00:26:38 - Nice. The WMC's out and about. - Who?
324 00:26:41 Most severed workers don't see the sun their whole lives.
325 00:26:44 The Whole Mind Collective. They're great.
326 00:26:46 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health?
327 00:26:49 We're all good.
328 00:26:50 You folks have a moment for children's brain health?
329 00:26:52 - We do. - Great!
330 00:26:53 We're trying to get a measure on the ballot
331 00:26:55 to keep mega-corporations like Lumon from continuing to force
332 00:26:58 legalized severance on our state.
333 00:26:59 They're forcing it now?
334 00:27:00 That's what they're lobbying for. And Jame Eagan is trying to sever kids…
335 00:27:03 Okay, well, what about the self-mutilating types who do it willingly?
336 00:27:07 I mean, I heard that some of them are so deluded
337 00:27:09 they don't even know they're victims.
338 00:27:11 I also heard that if you're severed,
339 00:27:14 you go to two separate hells. Is that true?
340 00:27:17 Hey, man, you wanna benefit off forced labor, that's up…
341 00:27:19 - Hey, man. Forced labor? - …then that's up to you.
342 00:27:22 Fucking really?
343 00:27:23 - Hey! - Yeah.
344 00:27:24 - Forced labor? Okay. - Really.
345 00:27:26 So people can just, like, self-imprison?
346 00:27:28 Are you captive right now?
347 00:27:30 No, seriously, because your past self chose to walk you down here
348 00:27:34 to be an infantilizing prick to people.
349 00:27:36 Severance is subjugation, asshole.
350 00:27:40 That's nice language for a…
351 00:27:42 What… What are you? Twelve?
352 00:27:44 Are you 12 years old? Are you even in high school yet?
353 00:27:49 Okay. Come on.
354 00:28:21 Mrs. Selvig.
355 00:28:23 Peace offering.
356 00:28:25 Are we fighting?
357 00:28:26 I just keep thinking about those damn bins.
358 00:28:30 Well, that is so not necessary, but very kind. Thank you.
359 00:28:38 Here, why don't you come in? I have milk.
360 00:28:41 - Why, thank you! - Yeah.
361 00:28:46 I'm experimenting with chamomile, so no hard feelings if you gag.
362 00:28:49 I'm sure I won't.
363 00:28:54 Still waiting for that third bulb to revive itself?
364 00:28:58 Oh, yeah. Keep forgetting to change that.
365 00:29:01 My, you smell nice. Were you on a date?
366 00:29:05 Sort of. My sister set me up with, like, her doula, or midwife.
367 00:29:12 Didn't really feel like anything.
368 00:29:19 Well, let's see here. I'll…
369 00:29:32 Wow.
370 00:29:33 This i… These are magic.
371 00:29:39 My late husband was a carpenter,
372 00:29:41 and before he passed,
373 00:29:42 he said he would start building us a house in the hereafter.
374 00:29:48 And there would be a small guest apartment in the back,
375 00:29:52 in case I found a new man before I got there.
376 00:29:58 That's… so sweet.
377 00:30:02 Yes. He even drew blueprints, which I keep in my purse.
378 00:30:13 Well, come by the shop, okay?
379 00:30:14 I'll give you a mugwort bath bomb that'll make you sleep like a rag doll.
380 00:30:19 I'll try to get down there.
381 00:30:21 Good night, Mrs. Selvig.
382 00:31:19 The nerve, my new partner's a woman.
383 00:31:22 I just think you could've mentioned it sooner.
384 00:31:24 You'd better be on the stakeout and not… out for a steak.
385 00:32:28 Seth Milchick, Lumon Industries.
386 00:32:30 Mr. Milchick, it's Mark Scout.
387 00:32:33 I'm a severed worker. Employee number 4502.
388 00:32:36 Mr. Scout, what a pleasure. How can I help you?
389 00:32:39 I actually woke up not feeling terribly well.
390 00:32:41 I'm sorry I'm just now calling.
391 00:32:44 Oh, no. May I ask how serious it is?
392 00:32:47 Well, nothing bad, just very minor stomach event.
393 00:32:52 Should be back tomorrow.
394 00:32:54 Well, I'm sorry.
395 00:32:55 I know your innie will be sad to have missed the day.
396 00:33:00 You feel better. Okay, Mr. Scout?
397 00:33:07 - Where's Mark? - Missed you too.
398 00:33:10 He should be coming down first now. You don't think that…
399 00:33:13 He's probably sick. They wouldn't bounce him and Petey the same week.
400 00:33:16 I certainly hope not.
401 00:33:17 Quarterly deadline's coming up,
402 00:33:18 and I'm not looking to be department chief.
403 00:33:21 Wow. Lot a confidence for a man who once got disciplined for dozing.
404 00:33:27 Sorry. That was…
405 00:33:32 I can't help that I was hired older than you.
406 00:33:37 It just never stops, huh?
407 00:33:39 Endless toil.
408 00:33:42 Where's Mark?
409 00:33:43 Sick or fired. Probably sick.
410 00:33:46 They wouldn't have fired him for my note thing, would they?
411 00:33:48 No. No way. He did his stint in the break room yesterday.
412 00:33:55 He said he was ill.
413 00:33:56 Did he sound ill?
414 00:33:58 I don't know. He said it was abdominal.
415 00:34:02 Funny timing.
416 00:34:44 The erasers are mostly decorative, since we don't have pencils.
417 00:34:48 Finger trap is fun, as long as you know how to use it safely.
418 00:34:50 But it's really more about what they represent, how far you got in the file.
419 00:34:54 - But why don't we always finish the files? - 'Cause they only keep so long.
420 00:34:57 You know, we finish, on average, one in five files before they expire.
421 00:35:01 Which is better than it used to be before Mark's freshman fluke.
422 00:35:05 What's a freshman fluke?
423 00:36:05 No!
424 00:36:07 Irv?
425 00:36:11 I'm… I'm sorry.
426 00:36:13 Irving?
427 00:37:17 We'll deduct the time you spent dozing from your outie's paycheck.
428 00:37:20 What will be harder to fix, Irving, is my and Ms. Cobel's trust in you.
429 00:37:25 I'm so sorry, sir. I'm just so sorry.
430 00:37:28 Well, no one is hankering to throw you in the break room.
431 00:37:31 We'll do a wellness check with Ms. Casey and go from there, all right?
432 00:37:35 Thank you, Mr. Milchick.
433 00:37:59 Nothing scary yet.
434 00:38:09 Oh, God! A four!
435 00:38:11 Don't fuck around.
436 00:38:13 I told you, you'll understand when you see it, so just be patient.
437 00:38:16 What even are these numbers?
438 00:38:18 Like, do we even know what we're supposedly cleaning?
439 00:38:23 My theory?
440 00:38:25 The sea.
441 00:38:29 The sea?
442 00:38:30 Yeah. Think about it.
443 00:38:32 Okay, if our outies are up there severing their brains,
444 00:38:35 shit must have gotten pretty bad.
445 00:38:37 Famine, plagues, et cetera.
446 00:38:40 So what is a desperate humanity to do?
447 00:38:46 Populate the sea?
448 00:38:47 Populate the sea.
449 00:38:48 But first, they gotta send probes down to the sea to clean up
450 00:38:52 all the deadly eels and shit, 'cause we can't cohabitate with that.
451 00:38:56 So we send the probes down, they send us the data coded,
452 00:38:59 we sense what's eels, and then we tell the probes what to blow up.
453 00:39:08 This is the leading theory?
454 00:39:11 Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting swear words out of movies.
455 00:39:18 But what is it? Like, what… what are we actually workin' on down there?
456 00:39:24 I don't know.
457 00:39:26 I thought without severance it would make more sense, but…
458 00:39:31 They separate us from the other departments.
459 00:39:33 We don't even know how many there are.
460 00:39:40 But I've been reintegrated for two weeks now.
461 00:39:45 I've been mapping out the floor.
462 00:39:58 I hid the original for you when I left.
463 00:40:20 You okay?
464 00:40:30 Sorry.
465 00:40:32 Reintegration sickness.
466 00:40:36 Never heard of that one.
467 00:40:38 Because I'm the first dipshit that's ever had it.
468 00:40:42 Plus, living in a cold-ass greenhouse doesn't help, but I can't go home.
469 00:40:49 Okay, so what is it that happens down there that's so bad?
470 00:40:57 There's this room…
471 00:41:05 We go in there when we don't act right.
472 00:41:15 What is that?
473 00:41:23 I'm afraid you're not sorry.
474 00:41:26 Please. I truly am. I'm sorry.
475 00:41:30 Please read the statement again.
476 00:41:33 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.
477 00:41:38 None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on.
478 00:41:44 I am thankful to have been caught,
479 00:41:46 my fall cut short by those with wizened hands.
480 00:41:51 All I can be is sorry, and that is all that I am.
481 00:41:56 I'm afraid you don't mean it. Again, please.
482 00:42:02 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.
483 00:42:08 None may atone for my actions but me.
484 00:42:15 The fuck is that?
485 00:42:19 That's the break room.
486 00:42:53 I'm… I'm sorry.
487 00:42:54 No, I'm sorry, sir.
488 00:42:56 I didn't think anybody was out here.
489 00:42:58 I'm coming out from my session.
490 00:43:01 I was just going in. I was admiring the art while I wait.
491 00:43:07 That piece hung in the perpetuity wing for many years.
492 00:43:11 I know. And it broke my heart when they took it down.
493 00:43:14 It's better here. It's calming.
494 00:43:20 I'm Irving. Macrodata Refinement.
495 00:43:23 Are you a department head?
496 00:43:25 Well, Optics and Design.
497 00:43:27 A two-person department, so, barely.
498 00:43:30 So this is your work?
499 00:43:32 We don't paint them. We do hang them.
500 00:43:35 I loved that you did the Ambrose cycle in the team-building space last quarter.
501 00:43:41 I'd never seen it.
502 00:43:43 Well, it's rare to meet a sophisticate.
503 00:43:46 Most people only think of O&D when new handbook totes come in.
504 00:43:51 Well, I love those too.
505 00:43:53 Yeah?
506 00:43:55 There's new ones coming next month.
507 00:43:58 Best design yet, in my view.
508 00:44:01 Wow! Well, that's all I'll be thinking about until then.
509 00:44:06 Irving?
510 00:44:45 All right, Irving.
511 00:44:47 What I'd like to do is share with you some facts about your outie.
512 00:44:52 Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing.
513 00:45:00 Just relax your body and be open to the facts.
514 00:45:05 Try to enjoy each equally.
515 00:45:09 These facts are not to be shared outside this room.
516 00:45:14 But for now, they're yours to enjoy.
517 00:45:23 Your outie is generous.
518 00:45:27 Your outie is fond of music and owns many records.
519 00:45:33 Your outie is a friend to children and to the elderly and the insane.
520 00:45:41 Your outie is strong and helped someone lift a heavy object.
521 00:45:47 Your outie attends many dances and is popular among the other attendees.
522 00:45:54 Your outie likes films and owns a machine that can play them.
523 00:46:03 Your outie is splendid and can swim gracefully and well.
524 00:46:10 I'm sorry.
525 00:46:12 Please try to enjoy each fact equally,
526 00:46:15 and not show preference for any over the others.
527 00:46:18 That's ten points off. You have 90 points remaining.
528 00:46:22 - Points? - Please don't speak.
529 00:46:32 Your outie won a game two weeks ago.
530 00:46:36 Your outie values water.
531 00:46:39 A photo of your outie with a trophy was once in a newspaper.
532 00:46:46 Your outie has no fear of muggers or knaves.
533 00:46:52 Your outie likes the sound of radar.
534 00:46:58 Your outie is skilled at kissing and lovemaking.
535 00:47:05 I'm sorry.
536 00:47:06 Please don't respond to any specific fact.
537 00:47:09 That's ten points off.
538 00:47:11 - I was just… - Please don't speak further,
539 00:47:14 or all remaining points will be deducted and the wellness session will end.
540 00:47:35 Okay.
541 00:47:57 - Is it just the elevators? - What?
542 00:47:59 With the code detectors. Or is it the stairwells too?
543 00:48:01 Jesus. Stairwells too. Why?
544 00:48:03 If no one accepts the resignations,
545 00:48:06 what makes you think they're being delivered at all?
546 00:48:07 You gotta let the info-smuggling notion go.
547 00:48:10 Okay, but how good are the scanners?
548 00:48:11 Like, what if you wrote the letters funky, like one of those robot tests?
549 00:48:14 - Hi, kids. What's for dinner? - Nope!
550 00:48:16 How was wellness?
551 00:48:18 Great. Very restorative.
552 00:48:20 I met the O&D department head.
553 00:48:22 Burt? I've met that guy. He's a fuck. You didn't tell him where we are, did you?
554 00:48:26 Burt's not a fuck. And no.
555 00:48:28 I'm asking for the safety of this department.
556 00:48:30 - I don't need to tell you… - That's a myth.
557 00:48:32 And don't pretend you care about this department.
558 00:48:34 You just want your waffle party.
559 00:48:35 Beg-fucking-pardon. We're supposed to like the perks.
560 00:48:38 “And all in Lumon's care shall revel in the bounty of the incentives spur.”
561 00:48:42 Don't pervert a handbook passage to me, okay?
562 00:48:45 - Don't do it. - Hey, guys?
563 00:48:47 Lumon has been good to us, and it is feckless to…
564 00:48:48 Guys!
565 00:48:58 That.
566 00:49:00 Yep.
567 00:49:02 Why is… Why is it…
568 00:49:03 You okay. Just fence off the bad data like I showed you.
569 00:49:06 Can you see the perimeter?
570 00:49:17 And bin it.
571 00:49:31 Boom. Fucking refined.
572 00:49:33 All right, Helly. Hip, hip.
573 00:49:36 They were scary. The numbers were scary.
574 00:49:56 Here's the couch. I'll find you a sleeping bag.
575 00:50:01 And you can use the shower if you want.
576 00:50:05 What are you trying to say?
577 00:50:11 Thanks for doing this, Mark.
578 00:50:13 Well, I, you know, figured my work self would be pissed
579 00:50:16 if I let you sleep in a greenhouse.
580 00:50:24 Light's on the left.
581 00:50:53 You okay in there?
582 00:50:54 Yeah! Yeah, I'm good.
583 00:52:09 Petey, are you okay?