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Half Loop (Transcript) | |
Episode Number | 1.2 |
---|---|
Written By | Dan Erickson |
Previous Transcript | Good News About Hell (Transcript) |
Next Transcript | In Perpetuity (Transcript) |
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:03,754 HELLY: I acknowledge that, henceforth, my access to my memories will be spatially dictated. I will be unable to access outside recollections whilst on Lumon's severed basement floor, nor retain work memories upon my ascent. I am aware that this alteration is comprehensive and irreversible. I make these statements freely.
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:34,117 MILCHICK: Okay, that's a wrap. Come with me, please.
11 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,257 So your work personage will be waking in a few hours on the severed floor.
12 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,593 But the next time you yourself will be sentient will be this evening,
13 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,136 in the elevator back up.
14 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,221 Okay.
15 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:58,267 The elevator has a handrail at hip-level if you feel dizzy.
16 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,768 Oh, man.
17 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,815 I love seeing the sunrise on his face.
18 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,361 You know he used to drink three raw eggs in milk each morning?
19 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,445 I've heard.
20 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,114 His favorite breakfast.
21 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,533 We'll get you prepped in here.
22 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,176 - Good morning, Lawrence. - Good morning.
23 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,189 They say it doesn't hurt.
24 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,403 Just relax.
25 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,378 Little vibration now.
26 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,003 I'll be upstairs after to let you know how it went.
27 00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,757 Sorry if I freak out on you a little.
28 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,428 Don't worry. I'm very excited to meet you.
29 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,805 Hey, Helly.
30 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,932 What's happening?
31 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,142 Great to see you.
32 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,103 Your orientation's been so much fun.
33 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,232 Where am I?
34 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:57,404 Okay, so sometimes when a new hire is adjusting to a severed space,
35 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,698 we help by bringing them here to the stairwell,
36 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,658 to experience the transition viscerally.
37 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,619 Oh, no. I'm trying to leave?
38 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,912 No, no.
39 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,455 It's all part of the process.
40 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,018 If you wanna spin around and head back in, that should be that.
41 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:14,838 Hey, there.
42 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,427 - What the hell? - That's okay.
43 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,262 Not a problem.
44 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,640 Wanna give it another shot?
45 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,141 Maybe with a little oomph?
46 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,480 Hi.
47 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:33,982 I'm at the stairwell.
48 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,777 It's going fair.
49 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,321 No, she's…
50 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,405 Fuck!
51 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,991 I'ma call you back.
52 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,245 Wow.
53 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,415 You're an inquisitive one.
54 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,501 I don't wanna be in there, do I?
55 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,794 You're learning that you do.
56 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,882 Hey, when we heard you were coming here, it was like a miracle.
57 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,593 It's amazing what you're doing.
58 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,367 Hey, old-timer!
59 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,160 One day down.
60 00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,232 Hey.
61 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,234 Hey.
62 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,610 So it's tomorrow now?
63 00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:48,946 Yeah.
64 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,822 Well, it's Monday.
65 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,200 - A weekend just happened? - Yeah.
66 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,701 I don't even feel like I left.
67 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,496 Yeah, that's how nights and weekends feel here.
68 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,289 Like nothing?
69 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,499 Well, you get used to it.
70 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,210 I mean, I find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep
71 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,629 since we don't actually get to experience it.
72 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,216 You may feel rejuvenated or happy.
73 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,885 Less tense in the shoulders. Spry.
74 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,931 So it's 09:05?
75 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,268 Yeah, they stagger the entries too so we don't meet on the outside.
76 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,686 It's important apparently.
77 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,940 So I guess we're not friends.
78 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,901 Guess not.
79 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,074 My current file's called “Tumwater”…
80 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,368 which I started some 11 weeks back.
81 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,786 “Tumwater.” All one word.
82 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:39,413 Should I be taking notes?
83 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,832 - No. - I've got it 96% sorted,
84 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,585 which means I've earned four of the five tier incentives,
85 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:49,256 including the erasers and the finger traps that you see displayed here.
86 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,010 100% is tier five. That gets you a caricature portrait.
87 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,972 You'll note I've accrued an embarrassment of wealth in that regard.
88 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,515 - Wow. - Correct.
89 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,976 Each one of these? Finished file in the can.
90 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,312 So that's the highest award?
91 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,521 Percentage-wise, yes.
92 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,690 But if we hit our numbers by quarter's end,
93 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,817 one of us gets named refiner of the quarter,
94 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:11,195 and that shit gets you a waffle party.
95 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,863 I'm sorry, a waffle party?
96 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,364 Okay, hazards on, eager lemur.
97 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:17,701 I'm a dead lock for that this quarter, so don't get your hopes up.
98 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,414 What about Mark's crystal head cube?
99 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,417 That's not a prize, that's just something they gave him.
100 00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:27,878 Helly, could you flip on this console?
101 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,479 Okay.
102 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,191 That's… Excuse me.
103 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,951 Mark, sorry to interrupt. I know you're training Helly.
104 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,246 I just noticed you've removed the group photos from the desks.
105 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,457 Yeah. We're gonna take the new ones at Helly's party today.
106 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,880 Okay, this is the Siena file.
107 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,799 Now, all the data you see
108 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,344 falls into one of four essential categories.
109 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,555 And we group each line of code,
110 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:24,184 and then sort it evenly between five digital buckets.
111 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,269 Party.
112 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,229 Just poke around first. Use the arrows.
113 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:31,233 I do think the old photos are supposed to stay on the desk
114 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,943 until the new ones come in.
115 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:40,951 Right.
116 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,787 - Should this mean something to me? - No.
117 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,331 No, all the data comes from upstairs fully encoded.
118 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,917 Then how do I categorize it?
119 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,045 What?
120 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:58,677 Each category of numbers presents in such an order as to elicit
121 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,971 an emotional response in the refiner.
122 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:07,477 So, Cat 1 numbers, for example, feel a certain way on sight.
123 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,731 They'll be sort of disconcerting, scary.
124 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:11,815 Scary?
125 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,108 I know.
126 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,943 My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet
127 00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:16,612 and look for numbers that are scary?
128 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,697 It sounds dumb, and Mark said it dumb.
129 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,950 Are the numbers bloody? Do they chant?
130 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,912 It doesn't make sense till you see it, and it takes a while to see.
131 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,872 Hey, Mark. I just printed out
132 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,333 the passage of the handbook on changing out group photos.
133 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,544 Just might be good to peruse when you're between things.
134 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,463 - Thank you. - Sorry.
135 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:38,967 Am I trapped here?
136 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,638 In what way?
137 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:46,433 Like if it turns out I hate this and I want to quit, is that an option?
138 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:51,188 Look.
139 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,815 If you're really unhappy,
140 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:58,111 you can submit a resignation request with your outside self for review.
141 00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,072 And good luck getting that approved.
142 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:03,867 Well, they do tend to be rejected. Plus, you know…
143 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,453 What?
144 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:12,167 Well, since this perceptual version of you only exists at Lumon,
145 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,462 I mean, quitting would effectively end your life.
146 00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:17,464 I mean, in so much as you've come to know it.
147 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:20,968 Hello, Refiners.
148 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,136 Sweet. Melon bar.
149 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,680 Hi, Mr. Milchick.
150 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,099 Helly, welcome.
151 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,686 I'm agog at how well I can tell you're already fitting in.
152 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,397 The office feels whole.
153 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:38,527 Now, let's get this party started.
154 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:47,870 Well, my name is Irving, as you all know.
155 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,122 And I've worked here for three years,
156 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:55,002 and something about me is that I know all nine core Lumon principles.
157 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,546 Awesome. What's your favorite?
158 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,550 All nine.
159 00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:06,680 But today, I think I'd say, “cheer”.
160 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,764 Great.
161 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,229 No trust fall today, Irv.
162 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,441 Right.
163 00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:28,202 No. No.
164 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,878 Hello, I'm Helly.
165 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,671 I've been at Lumon for, like…
166 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,840 ten hours total, and…
167 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,553 I'm sorry, I don't know anything about myself.
168 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,847 Sure you do, Helly.
169 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:51,308 I really don't.
170 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:53,924 I guess I went home last night,
171 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,063 but I don't know if home is a house, or an apartment,
172 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,290 or if I live with a family…
173 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,983 I like to think my outie lives on, like, a riverboat.
174 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,612 I'm sorry, outies are…
175 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,490 They're us on the outside.
176 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,784 You saw yours yesterday in the video.
177 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:12,120 Right. I actually have a few things to say to her. Can I record something back?
178 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:16,917 So what you'll find here is that communication between selves
179 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,377 is pretty curtailed.
180 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,462 So what if I write her a note?
181 00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:24,591 Fortunately, the elevators are equipped with something called “code detectors.”
182 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,969 So messages can't be passed through.
183 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:30,472 Yeah… They're like metal detectors for written symbols.
184 00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:31,807 A Lumon original, apparently.
185 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:32,975 That's right. Right.
186 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,893 Sure. Okay, well what if I…
187 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,688 I don't think you're quite getting the game here, Helly.
188 00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:39,898 May I?
189 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,027 Guys, this is Helly.
190 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,447 She's 30 years old, she's allergic to almonds and has weak enamel.
191 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,243 At 5'6'', she's the fourth tallest person in your office,
192 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,496 and her hair is what we call shoulder-length.
193 00:15:56,123 --> 00:16:00,419 And seeing her here with you all, I'd say she most definitely has a family.
194 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,094 Wow. Well, that's a lot to follow.
195 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,514 So I'll just say that I'm Mark.
196 00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:18,312 Been with Lumon about two years, and I absolutely love this game.
197 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:23,567 Nice try, pal, but you said that last time.
198 00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,361 Fair enough.
199 00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,200 Well, I…
200 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:40,334 I broke protocol this morning.
201 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:46,924 I was dusting the old group photos, the ones with Petey,
202 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,550 and it just…
203 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,054 made me feel sad.
204 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,265 And, I guess,
205 00:16:56,225 --> 00:17:00,103 worried that I won't be able to run MDR like he did.
206 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,231 That tracks. I have similar worries.
207 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:04,775 So I…
208 00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:08,862 took 'em from the cubicles and put 'em in the storage closet,
209 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,156 which we're not supposed to do.
210 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,702 I recall this. I objected.
211 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,124 Thank you for telling me, Mark.
212 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,253 I actually find your reaction sweet.
213 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:29,383 Though, it is puzzling you have an outburst like this for Petey,
214 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:32,553 and not for, say, Carol D.
215 00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:36,557 But we knew Carol D. was leaving beforehand.
216 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,600 I mean, her outie filmed a thank-you.
217 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,728 Petey was just gone.
218 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,107 And I mean, I… I don't know
219 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:51,488 if he's at some new job or drunk on a beach, or dead…
220 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,031 That's enough, please.
221 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,043 I think this is a good time to remind ourselves
222 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,255 that things like deaths happen outside of here.
223 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:10,716 Not here.
224 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:15,179 A life at Lumon is protected from such things.
225 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:21,977 And I think a great potential response to that from all of you is gratitude.
226 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,614 I also think that melon isn't getting any tastier.
227 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,400 Hey, sorry I derailed your game.
228 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:15,280 I thought I already had, but then, yeah, you made it way worse.
229 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,786 So how are you gonna figure out if Petey's okay?
230 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,372 I think Milchick was pretty clear.
231 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,089 You're just done asking about your best friend
232 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,918 because our babysitter told you to stop?
233 00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:32,214 You know, Milchick's a nice man.
234 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:35,175 When he says something, it's best to listen.
235 00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:38,095 - I don't care. - 'Cause he can't always be nice like that.
236 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,097 Okay, Refiners!
237 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,350 Let's get this new group photo before the melon bloat sets in.
238 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,488 At last.
239 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:04,329 All right. Great big smiles. Remember, you're gonna be looking at this every day.
240 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,624 Say “gratitude.”
241 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,585 Gratitude!
242 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:13,881 Say “cheer.”
243 00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:15,883 Cheer!
244 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,181 Helly? What are you doing?
245 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:26,143 I just think I'm not gonna work here anymore. Sorry.
246 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,394 What do you mean?
247 00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:28,978 I quit.
248 00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,731 I don't wanna do the file-sorting thing
249 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:33,209 or the never-seeing-the-sun-thing or the disappearing-friends thing.
250 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,753 - I just don't want any of it. - We told you there's code detectors.
251 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:39,489 Do you know that? Have you tried? Because frankly, it sounds made-up.
252 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:48,582 Helly!
253 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,253 Helly!
254 00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:07,142 Please, you don't know…
255 00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:10,646 Oh, God. Come on.
256 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,116 Shit. Mr. Graner?
257 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,704 Come on out.
258 00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:35,045 What have we got here?
259 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:39,675 Perhaps you'd better come with me.
260 00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:40,843 Mr. Graner.
261 00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:47,766 Hey. I see you've found my wayward trainee.
262 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,936 Appreciate your help, sir, as always.
263 00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:54,982 The note.
264 00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:59,403 So, this is embarrassing, but it's my first time training,
265 00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,699 and I must've just forgotten to go over data-smuggling rules with Helly.
266 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:06,702 Sorry. This is Helly.
267 00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:07,786 Helly, Mr. Graner.
268 00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:09,997 Yeah.
269 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:14,668 Yeah, so if Helly tripped the code detectors,
270 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:19,298 that one, it's on me and I apologize for that, sir.
271 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:20,799 Earnestly.
272 00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:24,303 Big department chief now, Mark S.?
273 00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:25,971 Well…
274 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:30,517 On you, then. Let's go.
275 00:23:46,635 --> 00:23:47,886 Mark.
276 00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:52,933 So you're a doula?
277 00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:55,352 A midwife, actually.
278 00:23:57,688 --> 00:24:01,525 And how many deliveries have you, I don't know, seen?
279 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:06,822 Over 300?
280 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,199 This is mostly back in Montana.
281 00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:11,743 - Wow. That's so cool. - Yeah.
282 00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:14,162 That's such a high amount.
283 00:24:14,246 --> 00:24:17,749 Yeah. We get two a day.
284 00:24:18,876 --> 00:24:19,918 Depending.
285 00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:32,723 So, is that, like, ten a week?
286 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:34,725 Like, in a five-day work week, or…
287 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:36,435 - Yeah, or so. - Yeah. Okay.
288 00:24:37,436 --> 00:24:41,106 - Are you vetting me for your sister? - No. Oh, no. You seem great.
289 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:42,733 - Yeah, I'm kidding. - I know.
290 00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:53,410 Thank you.
291 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,996 So, Lumon?
292 00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:58,957 - Yeah. - Like half this town.
293 00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:01,835 And half of me. That was a joke.
294 00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:03,962 It was funny.
295 00:25:04,046 --> 00:25:09,885 Yeah. I'm in the archives division, sort of a corporate historian, apparently.
296 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:14,181 So a lot of sensitive material, hence the…
297 00:25:16,892 --> 00:25:18,310 So you don't know…
298 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:23,148 who you work with, or what you do, or… or anything?
299 00:25:23,232 --> 00:25:24,942 Yeah, that's the idea.
300 00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,319 - What if you snuck in a note? - You can't sneak notes.
301 00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:28,946 So…
302 00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,966 - you could have a girlfriend at Lumon… - Thank you.
303 00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:32,991 …and not know it.
304 00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:35,702 And if you met someone out here, you wouldn't know it in there.
305 00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:38,163 Like, you could get married and have kids,
306 00:25:38,247 --> 00:25:40,791 and just forget they exist for eight hours every day,
307 00:25:40,874 --> 00:25:42,251 for your whole life.
308 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:44,336 That doesn't mess with your head?
309 00:25:47,631 --> 00:25:50,384 I think for some people, it's the point.
310 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:59,560 So, as a local, this just feels like a reasonable temperature to you?
311 00:25:59,643 --> 00:26:01,603 Well, technically, I'm from Ganz.
312 00:26:01,687 --> 00:26:04,022 And you're one to talk.
313 00:26:04,106 --> 00:26:08,318 Isn't Minnesota, like, crazy cold with the lakes?
314 00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:10,737 Yes. Minnesota was very cold
315 00:26:10,821 --> 00:26:14,908 the one time I visited from my home in Montana.
316 00:26:15,868 --> 00:26:17,068 So those are different places.
317 00:26:20,414 --> 00:26:22,165 So do you live in Lumon housing?
318 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,669 You make it sound like dorms or something.
319 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:28,648 - No, I just meant that there's… - I live in Baird Creek.
320 00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:33,343 And, yes, they happen to be subsidized by the company that employs me.
321 00:26:33,427 --> 00:26:35,780 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health?
322 00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:37,444 And legalized severance in the workplace?
323 00:26:38,974 --> 00:26:41,602 - Nice. The WMC's out and about. - Who?
324 00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:44,313 Most severed workers don't see the sun their whole lives.
325 00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:46,690 The Whole Mind Collective. They're great.
326 00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:49,443 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health?
327 00:26:49,526 --> 00:26:50,527 We're all good.
328 00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:52,547 You folks have a moment for children's brain health?
329 00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:53,447 - We do. - Great!
330 00:26:53,530 --> 00:26:55,240 We're trying to get a measure on the ballot
331 00:26:55,324 --> 00:26:58,076 to keep mega-corporations like Lumon from continuing to force
332 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,470 legalized severance on our state.
333 00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,871 They're forcing it now?
334 00:27:00,954 --> 00:27:03,808 That's what they're lobbying for. And Jame Eagan is trying to sever kids…
335 00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:07,085 Okay, well, what about the self-mutilating types who do it willingly?
336 00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:09,671 I mean, I heard that some of them are so deluded
337 00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:11,507 they don't even know they're victims.
338 00:27:11,590 --> 00:27:14,176 I also heard that if you're severed,
339 00:27:14,259 --> 00:27:17,346 you go to two separate hells. Is that true?
340 00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:19,848 Hey, man, you wanna benefit off forced labor, that's up…
341 00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:22,142 - Hey, man. Forced labor? - …then that's up to you.
342 00:27:22,226 --> 00:27:23,268 Fucking really?
343 00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:24,561 - Hey! - Yeah.
344 00:27:24,645 --> 00:27:25,938 - Forced labor? Okay. - Really.
345 00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:28,482 So people can just, like, self-imprison?
346 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:30,067 Are you captive right now?
347 00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:34,363 No, seriously, because your past self chose to walk you down here
348 00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,907 to be an infantilizing prick to people.
349 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:39,785 Severance is subjugation, asshole.
350 00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:42,621 That's nice language for a…
351 00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,122 What… What are you? Twelve?
352 00:27:44,206 --> 00:27:47,084 Are you 12 years old? Are you even in high school yet?
353 00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:51,255 Okay. Come on.
354 00:28:21,952 --> 00:28:22,953 Mrs. Selvig.
355 00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:24,746 Peace offering.
356 00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:26,790 Are we fighting?
357 00:28:26,874 --> 00:28:30,002 I just keep thinking about those damn bins.
358 00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:35,382 Well, that is so not necessary, but very kind. Thank you.
359 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,221 Here, why don't you come in? I have milk.
360 00:28:41,930 --> 00:28:43,682 - Why, thank you! - Yeah.
361 00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:49,855 I'm experimenting with chamomile, so no hard feelings if you gag.
362 00:28:49,938 --> 00:28:51,106 I'm sure I won't.
363 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:58,030 Still waiting for that third bulb to revive itself?
364 00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:01,158 Oh, yeah. Keep forgetting to change that.
365 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:04,786 My, you smell nice. Were you on a date?
366 00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:12,753 Sort of. My sister set me up with, like, her doula, or midwife.
367 00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,505 Didn't really feel like anything.
368 00:29:19,885 --> 00:29:22,262 Well, let's see here. I'll…
369 00:29:32,064 --> 00:29:33,190 Wow.
370 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:35,150 This i… These are magic.
371 00:29:39,446 --> 00:29:41,281 My late husband was a carpenter,
372 00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:42,824 and before he passed,
373 00:29:42,908 --> 00:29:47,788 he said he would start building us a house in the hereafter.
374 00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:52,292 And there would be a small guest apartment in the back,
375 00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:55,337 in case I found a new man before I got there.
376 00:29:58,966 --> 00:30:00,843 That's… so sweet.
377 00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:07,516 Yes. He even drew blueprints, which I keep in my purse.
378 00:30:13,063 --> 00:30:14,648 Well, come by the shop, okay?
379 00:30:14,731 --> 00:30:19,319 I'll give you a mugwort bath bomb that'll make you sleep like a rag doll.
380 00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:20,863 I'll try to get down there.
381 00:30:21,947 --> 00:30:23,448 Good night, Mrs. Selvig.
382 00:31:19,922 --> 00:31:21,924 The nerve, my new partner's a woman.
383 00:31:22,007 --> 00:31:24,259 I just think you could've mentioned it sooner.
384 00:31:24,343 --> 00:31:28,931 You'd better be on the stakeout and not… out for a steak.
385 00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:30,868 Seth Milchick, Lumon Industries.
386 00:32:30,951 --> 00:32:33,036 Mr. Milchick, it's Mark Scout.
387 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,081 I'm a severed worker. Employee number 4502.
388 00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:39,168 Mr. Scout, what a pleasure. How can I help you?
389 00:32:39,251 --> 00:32:41,712 I actually woke up not feeling terribly well.
390 00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:43,380 I'm sorry I'm just now calling.
391 00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:47,176 Oh, no. May I ask how serious it is?
392 00:32:47,259 --> 00:32:51,930 Well, nothing bad, just very minor stomach event.
393 00:32:52,014 --> 00:32:53,307 Should be back tomorrow.
394 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,517 Well, I'm sorry.
395 00:32:55,601 --> 00:32:58,228 I know your innie will be sad to have missed the day.
396 00:33:00,522 --> 00:33:02,983 You feel better. Okay, Mr. Scout?
397 00:33:07,946 --> 00:33:10,324 - Where's Mark? - Missed you too.
398 00:33:10,407 --> 00:33:13,327 He should be coming down first now. You don't think that…
399 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:16,055 He's probably sick. They wouldn't bounce him and Petey the same week.
400 00:33:16,079 --> 00:33:17,414 I certainly hope not.
401 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:18,916 Quarterly deadline's coming up,
402 00:33:18,999 --> 00:33:21,502 and I'm not looking to be department chief.
403 00:33:21,585 --> 00:33:25,422 Wow. Lot a confidence for a man who once got disciplined for dozing.
404 00:33:27,841 --> 00:33:29,343 Sorry. That was…
405 00:33:32,137 --> 00:33:35,182 I can't help that I was hired older than you.
406 00:33:37,976 --> 00:33:39,603 It just never stops, huh?
407 00:33:39,686 --> 00:33:40,938 Endless toil.
408 00:33:42,272 --> 00:33:43,398 Where's Mark?
409 00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:45,651 Sick or fired. Probably sick.
410 00:33:46,151 --> 00:33:48,296 They wouldn't have fired him for my note thing, would they?
411 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,031 No. No way. He did his stint in the break room yesterday.
412 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,370 He said he was ill.
413 00:33:56,954 --> 00:33:58,163 Did he sound ill?
414 00:33:58,247 --> 00:34:00,499 I don't know. He said it was abdominal.
415 00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:03,210 Funny timing.
416 00:34:44,877 --> 00:34:47,963 The erasers are mostly decorative, since we don't have pencils.
417 00:34:48,045 --> 00:34:50,441 Finger trap is fun, as long as you know how to use it safely.
418 00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:53,594 But it's really more about what they represent, how far you got in the file.
419 00:34:54,261 --> 00:34:57,261 - But why don't we always finish the files? - 'Cause they only keep so long.
420 00:34:57,806 --> 00:35:01,185 You know, we finish, on average, one in five files before they expire.
421 00:35:01,268 --> 00:35:04,938 Which is better than it used to be before Mark's freshman fluke.
422 00:35:05,022 --> 00:35:06,273 What's a freshman fluke?
423 00:36:05,332 --> 00:36:06,416 No!
424 00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:08,252 Irv?
425 00:36:11,129 --> 00:36:12,464 I'm… I'm sorry.
426 00:36:13,257 --> 00:36:14,299 Irving?
427 00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:20,490 We'll deduct the time you spent dozing from your outie's paycheck.
428 00:37:20,991 --> 00:37:24,661 What will be harder to fix, Irving, is my and Ms. Cobel's trust in you.
429 00:37:25,204 --> 00:37:28,081 I'm so sorry, sir. I'm just so sorry.
430 00:37:28,165 --> 00:37:31,126 Well, no one is hankering to throw you in the break room.
431 00:37:31,835 --> 00:37:34,922 We'll do a wellness check with Ms. Casey and go from there, all right?
432 00:37:35,422 --> 00:37:36,840 Thank you, Mr. Milchick.
433 00:37:59,404 --> 00:38:00,656 Nothing scary yet.
434 00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:11,291 Oh, God! A four!
435 00:38:11,375 --> 00:38:12,543 Don't fuck around.
436 00:38:13,085 --> 00:38:16,338 I told you, you'll understand when you see it, so just be patient.
437 00:38:16,964 --> 00:38:18,423 What even are these numbers?
438 00:38:18,507 --> 00:38:20,884 Like, do we even know what we're supposedly cleaning?
439 00:38:23,262 --> 00:38:24,263 My theory?
440 00:38:25,973 --> 00:38:26,974 The sea.
441 00:38:29,268 --> 00:38:30,269 The sea?
442 00:38:30,978 --> 00:38:32,437 Yeah. Think about it.
443 00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:35,649 Okay, if our outies are up there severing their brains,
444 00:38:35,732 --> 00:38:37,526 shit must have gotten pretty bad.
445 00:38:37,609 --> 00:38:40,279 Famine, plagues, et cetera.
446 00:38:40,362 --> 00:38:43,574 So what is a desperate humanity to do?
447 00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:47,035 Populate the sea?
448 00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:48,495 Populate the sea.
449 00:38:48,579 --> 00:38:52,332 But first, they gotta send probes down to the sea to clean up
450 00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:55,878 all the deadly eels and shit, 'cause we can't cohabitate with that.
451 00:38:56,378 --> 00:38:59,882 So we send the probes down, they send us the data coded,
452 00:38:59,965 --> 00:39:04,511 we sense what's eels, and then we tell the probes what to blow up.
453 00:39:08,015 --> 00:39:09,266 This is the leading theory?
454 00:39:11,226 --> 00:39:14,313 Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting swear words out of movies.
455 00:39:18,775 --> 00:39:22,362 But what is it? Like, what… what are we actually workin' on down there?
456 00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:25,449 I don't know.
457 00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:29,328 I thought without severance it would make more sense, but…
458 00:39:31,163 --> 00:39:33,832 They separate us from the other departments.
459 00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,751 We don't even know how many there are.
460 00:39:40,255 --> 00:39:42,508 But I've been reintegrated for two weeks now.
461 00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:46,887 I've been mapping out the floor.
462 00:39:58,607 --> 00:40:00,984 I hid the original for you when I left.
463 00:40:20,963 --> 00:40:22,089 You okay?
464 00:40:30,222 --> 00:40:31,223 Sorry.
465 00:40:32,599 --> 00:40:33,892 Reintegration sickness.
466 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,188 Never heard of that one.
467 00:40:38,981 --> 00:40:41,400 Because I'm the first dipshit that's ever had it.
468 00:40:42,693 --> 00:40:46,530 Plus, living in a cold-ass greenhouse doesn't help, but I can't go home.
469 00:40:49,658 --> 00:40:53,787 Okay, so what is it that happens down there that's so bad?
470 00:40:57,666 --> 00:40:58,667 There's this room…
471 00:41:05,340 --> 00:41:07,759 We go in there when we don't act right.
472 00:41:15,517 --> 00:41:16,643 What is that?
473 00:41:23,358 --> 00:41:24,943 I'm afraid you're not sorry.
474 00:41:26,069 --> 00:41:30,282 Please. I truly am. I'm sorry.
475 00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:32,034 Please read the statement again.
476 00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:38,415 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.
477 00:41:38,498 --> 00:41:44,338 None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on.
478 00:41:44,421 --> 00:41:46,632 I am thankful to have been caught,
479 00:41:46,715 --> 00:41:50,802 my fall cut short by those with wizened hands.
480 00:41:51,678 --> 00:41:55,307 All I can be is sorry, and that is all that I am.
481 00:41:56,475 --> 00:42:00,896 I'm afraid you don't mean it. Again, please.
482 00:42:02,439 --> 00:42:07,069 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.
483 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,865 None may atone for my actions but me.
484 00:42:15,327 --> 00:42:16,662 The fuck is that?
485 00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:20,332 That's the break room.
486 00:42:53,448 --> 00:42:54,700 I'm… I'm sorry.
487 00:42:54,783 --> 00:42:56,034 No, I'm sorry, sir.
488 00:42:56,118 --> 00:42:58,328 I didn't think anybody was out here.
489 00:42:58,412 --> 00:43:01,206 I'm coming out from my session.
490 00:43:01,290 --> 00:43:06,587 I was just going in. I was admiring the art while I wait.
491 00:43:07,462 --> 00:43:11,133 That piece hung in the perpetuity wing for many years.
492 00:43:11,216 --> 00:43:14,094 I know. And it broke my heart when they took it down.
493 00:43:14,678 --> 00:43:16,972 It's better here. It's calming.
494 00:43:20,184 --> 00:43:22,895 I'm Irving. Macrodata Refinement.
495 00:43:23,478 --> 00:43:24,938 Are you a department head?
496 00:43:25,022 --> 00:43:26,940 Well, Optics and Design.
497 00:43:27,691 --> 00:43:30,152 A two-person department, so, barely.
498 00:43:30,235 --> 00:43:31,653 So this is your work?
499 00:43:32,446 --> 00:43:35,199 We don't paint them. We do hang them.
500 00:43:35,282 --> 00:43:40,495 I loved that you did the Ambrose cycle in the team-building space last quarter.
501 00:43:41,038 --> 00:43:42,956 I'd never seen it.
502 00:43:43,457 --> 00:43:45,959 Well, it's rare to meet a sophisticate.
503 00:43:46,877 --> 00:43:50,881 Most people only think of O&D when new handbook totes come in.
504 00:43:51,924 --> 00:43:53,717 Well, I love those too.
505 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,177 Yeah?
506 00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:57,638 There's new ones coming next month.
507 00:43:58,597 --> 00:44:00,390 Best design yet, in my view.
508 00:44:01,433 --> 00:44:05,437 Wow! Well, that's all I'll be thinking about until then.
509 00:44:06,063 --> 00:44:07,063 Irving?
510 00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:46,645 All right, Irving.
511 00:44:47,479 --> 00:44:51,400 What I'd like to do is share with you some facts about your outie.
512 00:44:52,985 --> 00:44:58,991 Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing.
513 00:45:00,659 --> 00:45:04,663 Just relax your body and be open to the facts.
514 00:45:05,455 --> 00:45:08,584 Try to enjoy each equally.
515 00:45:09,918 --> 00:45:13,130 These facts are not to be shared outside this room.
516 00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:17,885 But for now, they're yours to enjoy.
517 00:45:23,390 --> 00:45:25,350 Your outie is generous.
518 00:45:27,978 --> 00:45:31,899 Your outie is fond of music and owns many records.
519 00:45:33,650 --> 00:45:39,448 Your outie is a friend to children and to the elderly and the insane.
520 00:45:41,491 --> 00:45:45,704 Your outie is strong and helped someone lift a heavy object.
521 00:45:47,748 --> 00:45:53,420 Your outie attends many dances and is popular among the other attendees.
522 00:45:54,755 --> 00:46:01,720 Your outie likes films and owns a machine that can play them.
523 00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:08,894 Your outie is splendid and can swim gracefully and well.
524 00:46:10,395 --> 00:46:11,605 I'm sorry.
525 00:46:12,481 --> 00:46:15,067 Please try to enjoy each fact equally,
526 00:46:15,734 --> 00:46:18,403 and not show preference for any over the others.
527 00:46:18,987 --> 00:46:21,990 That's ten points off. You have 90 points remaining.
528 00:46:22,074 --> 00:46:24,284 - Points? - Please don't speak.
529 00:46:32,042 --> 00:46:34,628 Your outie won a game two weeks ago.
530 00:46:36,046 --> 00:46:38,632 Your outie values water.
531 00:46:39,925 --> 00:46:44,638 A photo of your outie with a trophy was once in a newspaper.
532 00:46:46,265 --> 00:46:50,602 Your outie has no fear of muggers or knaves.
533 00:46:52,563 --> 00:46:55,607 Your outie likes the sound of radar.
534 00:46:58,193 --> 00:47:03,073 Your outie is skilled at kissing and lovemaking.
535 00:47:05,909 --> 00:47:06,910 I'm sorry.
536 00:47:06,994 --> 00:47:09,913 Please don't respond to any specific fact.
537 00:47:09,997 --> 00:47:11,790 That's ten points off.
538 00:47:11,874 --> 00:47:14,084 - I was just… - Please don't speak further,
539 00:47:14,168 --> 00:47:18,005 or all remaining points will be deducted and the wellness session will end.
540 00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:36,815 Okay.
541 00:47:57,753 --> 00:47:59,254 - Is it just the elevators? - What?
542 00:47:59,338 --> 00:48:01,673 With the code detectors. Or is it the stairwells too?
543 00:48:01,757 --> 00:48:03,675 Jesus. Stairwells too. Why?
544 00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,969 If no one accepts the resignations,
545 00:48:06,053 --> 00:48:07,906 what makes you think they're being delivered at all?
546 00:48:07,930 --> 00:48:10,224 You gotta let the info-smuggling notion go.
547 00:48:10,307 --> 00:48:11,618 Okay, but how good are the scanners?
548 00:48:11,642 --> 00:48:14,811 Like, what if you wrote the letters funky, like one of those robot tests?
549 00:48:14,895 --> 00:48:16,772 - Hi, kids. What's for dinner? - Nope!
550 00:48:16,855 --> 00:48:18,106 How was wellness?
551 00:48:18,190 --> 00:48:20,067 Great. Very restorative.
552 00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:21,944 I met the O&D department head.
553 00:48:22,027 --> 00:48:26,198 Burt? I've met that guy. He's a fuck. You didn't tell him where we are, did you?
554 00:48:26,281 --> 00:48:28,367 Burt's not a fuck. And no.
555 00:48:28,450 --> 00:48:30,577 I'm asking for the safety of this department.
556 00:48:30,661 --> 00:48:32,180 - I don't need to tell you… - That's a myth.
557 00:48:32,204 --> 00:48:34,098 And don't pretend you care about this department.
558 00:48:34,122 --> 00:48:35,749 You just want your waffle party.
559 00:48:35,832 --> 00:48:38,794 Beg-fucking-pardon. We're supposed to like the perks.
560 00:48:38,877 --> 00:48:42,881 “And all in Lumon's care shall revel in the bounty of the incentives spur.”
561 00:48:42,965 --> 00:48:45,676 Don't pervert a handbook passage to me, okay?
562 00:48:45,759 --> 00:48:46,927 - Don't do it. - Hey, guys?
563 00:48:47,010 --> 00:48:48,905 Lumon has been good to us, and it is feckless to…
564 00:48:48,929 --> 00:48:49,930 Guys!
565 00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,731 That.
566 00:49:00,524 --> 00:49:01,525 Yep.
567 00:49:02,150 --> 00:49:03,694 Why is… Why is it…
568 00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:06,488 You okay. Just fence off the bad data like I showed you.
569 00:49:06,572 --> 00:49:08,448 Can you see the perimeter?
570 00:49:17,624 --> 00:49:19,042 And bin it.
571 00:49:31,263 --> 00:49:33,140 Boom. Fucking refined.
572 00:49:33,223 --> 00:49:35,392 All right, Helly. Hip, hip.
573 00:49:36,143 --> 00:49:39,146 They were scary. The numbers were scary.
574 00:49:56,997 --> 00:50:00,375 Here's the couch. I'll find you a sleeping bag.
575 00:50:01,251 --> 00:50:04,671 And you can use the shower if you want.
576 00:50:05,422 --> 00:50:06,840 What are you trying to say?
577 00:50:11,845 --> 00:50:13,138 Thanks for doing this, Mark.
578 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,517 Well, I, you know, figured my work self would be pissed
579 00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,185 if I let you sleep in a greenhouse.
580 00:50:24,316 --> 00:50:25,317 Light's on the left.
581 00:50:53,011 --> 00:50:54,179 You okay in there?
582 00:50:54,263 --> 00:50:56,557 Yeah! Yeah, I'm good.
583 00:52:09,546 --> 00:52:10,672 Petey, are you okay?